Ep113_LifeBalance
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Adam Gragg: [00:00:00] One of the first things I like to help people understand when working with Decide Your Legacy is how to utilize the life wheel and to do a consistent self assessment based on the life wheel. That means that you look at each of the seven areas of your life and you say, how am I doing [00:01:00] today? How do I, in my gut, feel I'm doing in this area of my life?

And you make a shift. If it's something you're not investing, an area you're not investing in, like having enough fun, or you're not investing in your health, then you make an adjustment so that you're investing more into that part of your life. Last Decide Your Legacy podcast, was on doing a life balance assessment.

So once I was a speaker on the topic of balance, of life balance, about a decade ago, And I remember that one of the other speakers on the agenda heard about my topic because it was called Life Balance is Possible. And he laughed at it. He, you know, he wasn't really making fun of me. I knew the guy, but he said, well, I don't really think it is.

It's kind of, I'm the anti life balance guy is what he told me. And. I started second guessing myself a little bit, then I think back and say life balance is a key to true success and happiness. I truly believe that. When I'm off in my life and I'm not investing in all areas of my life consistently, then there's a problem.

I was [00:02:00] criticized, but I found that that has inspired me even today. I mean, I want to talk to you today about how life balance is possible. It's episode number 113 of the Decide Your Legacy podcast, and I'm going to give you three secrets to living a balanced life. I'm your host, Adam Gragg. I'm a coach, a content creator, speaker.

I help people find the self confidence and clarity to face their biggest fears and live their legacy. I talk about stuff that I struggle with myself. I don't have it all figured out. I'm a fellow traveler. I struggle with life balance. This content inspires me. I want to share something uncomfortable that I did recently because, and I do this every episode, is because nothing is more important to your mental health than facing your fears.

It's one of my passions in life is to help people face their fears and to do it myself and nothing is more damaging to your mental health than playing it safe. Here's something that I did that was scary. I talked to my cousin who is a second cousin, a first cousin of my [00:03:00] dad's, and I asked him some questions that I was intimidated to ask because he's had a successful career and I've learned a lot from him.

He's a business owner. Well, he was, he sold his business many years ago. He's 93 or 94 years old. And I asked him, If he had almost ever died, and he gave me an answer that I was shocked to hear. He first, he said, no, I don't think so. And then he said, you know what? I remember now, because I find that with people that when you talk to them about their past, especially if it was something traumatic, it triggers something in their mind that they remember this event that had occurred.

And so I wasn't intimidated by asking the question, but I asked it and it ended up being a great, really positive, inspiring. Conversation. So this is the podcast that you do not just listen to. You know, my listeners get uncomfortable too. So I want you to start off with an action. What for you is, I want you to do it just a self assessment of your life real quick in a gut level.

How am I doing in each of these I want you to write that down or speak it into your [00:04:00] phone, but just where you, where would you fall on a scale of 1 to 10? The first thing that comes to mind. So when it comes to your spiritual life, on a scale of 1 to 10, how do you feel about how you're doing in that area of your life?

What score would you give it? On the health area, what would you give it? A scale of 1 to 10. On the family area, what score? A scale of 1 to 10. In the intellectual area, reading, growing, learning on a scale of 1 to 10, what score would you give it? You know, just gut level. Next area would be on the social and fun.

Are you having fun? Are you enjoying your life? Scale of 1 to 10. And then the career area, scale of 1 to 10. And the financial area, scale of 1 to 10. And so, and I want you to identify which of those areas would you say it's probably a lower area for you right now. And as you go through this content, process it, utilizing.

These three secrets that can help you to improve your level of self balance. So the number one secret, this is not in any order, but one of the major secrets of living with balance is first of all, have a healthy understanding of what [00:05:00] life balance actually is. And what you want is to figure out what a realistic, healthy expectation in each of those seven areas actually is.

So I would encourage you to be able to write down or articulate in some fashion, what does, for me, a good social, life, recreation, fun. What does that look like for me? Is there a specific amount of time each week that I spend in that area or in each day in that area? And my suggestion is that you can say at the end of the day that you put some energy into all seven different life areas.

So, what's a realistic expectation for yourself in your intellectual life, intellectual area? Are you going to read a specific amount a day? Are you going to be journaling or learning some skill every day? What's a reasonable expectation when it comes to reading? to, to spending time with your family. I mean, is it that you hang out a certain amount of time [00:06:00] every day or you have conversations every day?

I want you to get that down because it's not about perfection. It's about having a healthy expectation and unhealthy expectations lead to perfectionism and procrastination. We end up procrastinating because we can never do it good enough, so why even try? Not a good thing. You know, that's what we have to figure out, is what is a seven in each area?

Realistic. I mean, my challenge is for, to help people lower their expectations, not increase their expectations. That's part of the problem, is we have expectations that are not healthy and realistic. So we have a realistic attitude. about the progress in our life. And so when we assess each area of our life, it, and this is part of having a healthy understanding, is we focus much more on the gain than on the gap.

The gain is how far have we come in this area of our life? Not the gap to where we want to actually be. So we focus much more on the potential in that area rather than the problem. or rather than [00:07:00] the opportunity rather than the obstacle. And that's a, that's an intentional focus that helps us have a realistic expectation of that specific area of our life.

Really people build confidence through I find one major, one major perspective shift is you build confidence by being able to look at the gain that you've, that you have made in each part of your life. So if you started a business and people do this all the time, this is a challenge that I have.

frequently is as a business owner, I can frequently look at other businesses or evaluate people that own other businesses or look at how they function by saying, I lack progress in my business because I'm not doing things up to their level, or what it appears that it's going in a better, they're having more success in their business than I am.

And so I look at that situation and say, I'm not really doing very well. And I'm not measuring my success. internally [00:08:00] based on the progress that I have made with my business and I have made with my health. So I'm not focusing on how much I've actually done to get to this level. It's what I lack. That causes a huge deficit, a huge problem.

I heard this story about this Olympic skater and his, let's see, Dan Jansen is his name. And he, Dan Jansen was an Olympic gold medalist speed skater, but he actually was one of the favorites in events in at least two Olympics and didn't win the gold medal in any of those events. He didn't even actually place and get a gold medal.

And he, it wasn't until the very last race of his Olympic career that he decided that he was going to, he was in this event. It was, I believe the hundred, it was a shorter sprint race and it wasn't one of his stronger events. And don't quote me on that because it was one of the races that he wasn't the strongest in.

And he decided to let go of his expectations. He decided to focus on the gain in his life. And he's been, you know, He's talked about this, that the very last race of his career, he decided to say, look [00:09:00] at all these people who invested in me. I have everything I need. I have a great family. I have great friends.

I have all these successes in my life, and I'm going to just let go and do my best in this race and not focus on how many things that I haven't achieved in my career, but this stuff that I have. All these people that believe in me. I've been a favorite and I've won so many things in my life. It's not a gold medal.

And he actually won the gold medal in that event. Pretty inspiring thing. A woman, after I spoke at that one event that I mentioned 10 years ago, after that event where someone criticized me and the whole topic and I felt kind of depleted after hearing somebody criticize the topic, especially when you're going to get ready to speak on it and someone's kind of knocking it, somebody after that event It came up to me very emotional, and she said that I had spoken at an event for the company that she works at years ago, and that the concept of having and making things a seven had actually saved her life, because she had really struggled with expectations.

She had periods in her life where she was suicidal and just thinking that it's okay to [00:10:00] not be perfect, and for some reason it had been conveyed in a presentation I gave. I had no idea this actually happened, but I'll never forget that interaction, because someone came up to me that I didn't even know that had heard me speak and said that what I had talked about had actually changed and really saved her life.

Huge, big, huge deal. Something that inspires me pretty frequently. So, you build confidence and that was one of my points is you build confidence by looking back and saying, here's how far I've come. And then you start to do new things and take risks because you realize that each one, even though you fail, it's leading you in the direction of where you have another experience where you've learned something and you have at least the ability to say, hey, I tried and I went out and did something in a different way.

I tried a new marketing strategy. I started this business. I got in this new relationship, made new friends. So it's this First of all, understanding what a healthy level of life balance is. It's not perfection. It's consistently having healthy expectations. So number two, a secret for living with balance, because it is possible, is to go ahead and get organized.

And what I mean by getting organized is stop wasting time being [00:11:00] distracted. I mean, like, take the time. Every 15 minutes counts. It's not about taking a whole day to get organized. It's every 15 minutes counts. And we take the time to step back and say, I'm going to start Cleaning up some parts of my life.

I am going to take the time. And for me, it has been at times, I'm going to get back on a schedule and get back on track. I'm going to start organizing my resources. I'm going to start organizing my office. I'm going to get organized with my finances. I'm going to take some time to learn a new skill that I love.

I'm going to decide what I enjoy and what types of things I'm going to invest in hobby wise. I'm going to get organized. I mean, it's that simple. And so organization is going to require you to step back. And how much time, if you want to get organized, a few tips for you. So do a weekly schedule, an ideal weekly schedule.

When do I get up? When am I going to go to bed? When am I going to engage in self care? When am I going to take some time for solitude? When I get, when am I going to take some time to, to read and learn and [00:12:00] grow? And you start to plug these things into your calendar and you'll see you. That it's gonna create a sense of balance because now you're seeing how everything can fit in.

And you may be somebody that looks and does this self assessment and says, I don't have time for health and self care. I don't have time to read. But as you get organized, you see that there is time and it's just an excuse. You're making an excuse. Getting organized will require you to do things intentionally to get focused.

And I do not believe there's any science that indicates that we're good at multitasking. When we know that we cannot, Think about something positive and something negative at the same time. We can't be grateful and also think about our lack at the same time. It's the same with how our brains work with time management.

We can't focus on getting progress in a pro on a project and then shift to another project that's unrelated and think we're actually still making progress on the original initial project, multitasking doesn't work. When you get organized, you realize you can time block. Time block does, time blocking does work.

You're [00:13:00] focusing for a half an hour on a specific topic and making progress. You're focusing for an hour on a specific project and you're making progress. You're getting specific. You're making sales calls in a chunk of time. You're doing follow up emails in a chunk of time. You're not getting distracted and taking a call from somebody.

And then on another topic, you're getting focused back in on that topic again, thinking it's not going to impact you by taking that call. I know in some jobs, you have to do that kind of stuff. It's part of your responsibilities, but you can still minimize those distractions. You're getting organized by telling, by simply saying that I'm going to focus in this time.

And you I don't know what it is for you, but it's going to be some way of turning your phone over and not taking any calls for a period of time, or asking somebody to take the calls for you, locking yourself in your office, doing something that you can do to get your mind focused on a topic, and then you're going to feel so good at the end of that.

Like you have made progress. Not perfect progress, but in each area of your life, you're going to start to feel like I'm doing something. I'm moving the needle. How can you move the needle in your organization? Getting organized [00:14:00] does that. I find that Companies I work with sometimes will have so many different things that they're measuring.

And it is true that what you measure grows, but you have to know the right things to measure. Your key performance indicators. If you're not measuring the right things, you're going to grow in some areas that are wrong. in your organization. So what is it as you get organized you need to measure to make sure your organization grows?

Is it, and it's not just going to be sales, it's going to be other things. That may be one of the most important measures, that's going to be one of the measures. Revenue, but it also could be, I know for my organization, one of the measures of success and progress is contacts with people that are impactful.

Connections with people that are not just over email, but that are verbal. And that are in person or over Zoom. That makes, that moves the needle for Decide Your Legacy. What moves the needle for you? That's part of getting organized, part of living with balance. So the third part of living with balance, third secret, is to trust your gut.

And that may sound like ambiguity and [00:15:00] fuzziness, but I don't want it to be, to sound that way. Trusting your gut means that there's a part of you, your intuition, that's something more than feelings. It's actually further behind your feelings that is giving you some, and I would say it's connected to your central nervous system and it's a spiritual thing.

It's connected to your soul that you know something is off in your life that you need to adjust. An example would be that I went to church on Sunday and after church I was feeling kind of tired, went to the later service with my daughter and I wanted to go home and just be lazy for like two to three hours.

I wanted to take a nap, do nothing. Veg out, watching TV And I knew in my gut there was something that was planned that I believe was bigger for me to do that I didn't want to do. I also knew that if I went and took a nap, I'd get tired and drained, but I'd feel good for short term, but I wouldn't feel good the rest of the day.

And I knew that if I went and did, and it was on my mind, I'm like, I can go hit golf balls and get a workout in [00:16:00] and read a book and not actually go home and just veg out and I'm going to feel better. And that's actually what I did is I did something productive and it felt really great, especially the next day because I knew I didn't waste my afternoon after church when I wanted to.

And I did something that I knew was going to be soul replenishing, not draining. I just, I remembered that as believe, I mean, I remembered while I was taking my daughter to work is when I remembered that I could do something different here. And I did, and it really made a big difference. And then even the other night I was leaving work and I wanted to be lazy and just go get a meal from Chipotle for me and my daughter.

And I decided instead to cook dinner. I knew I had this gut thing in my life. I knew that this was a way to invest in my family. It was a way to not spend 25 bucks that I didn't need to spend. It was a way for me to go and trust myself that I could go and do this. And I have some insecurity as a cook.

It's not like always the thing I want to go ahead and do. [00:17:00] I wanted to take the lazy path, but I didn't. And then a client came in yesterday and we were just talking and the client had actually We were talking about some topic, but it came up like when I did, when he did something or when she actually did something to trust her gut, her intuition and not go with feelings and how good that felt the next day.

And I said, you know what, I know exactly what you're talking about. And I shared my example as well, which sometimes I do, because it can help my clients to kind of see that I can relate. If it's helpful, I might share it. But I did in that case. So that is super helpful. So what I want you to do, entrusting your gut to it, saying what could I do that would move the needle, not from a 5 to a 10, but if it's in one area, let's say the financial area, and you know that you're not putting enough attention on this, you're getting sloppy, you're not following a budget, or maybe you're not talking to your spouse about your finances, something is not going well in that area, you just know that you've got to put more attention into that area.

So what would take it from, let's say you give it a 5, to a [00:18:00] 5. 5? It's not going, so, it's not making a huge difference. Increase, but it's making a step in the right direction. What's the smallest step in the right direction that would help you move the needle? I'll give you some examples. If you hit the link to this.

article. It's actually a worksheet that I created called Life Balance Tactics, and you can download that by hitting the link here. And if you found this podcast helpful, I would really encourage you to hit another link in the podcast show notes. That's called Shatterproof Yourself Lite. It's seven small steps to a giant leap in your mental health.

Mental health is a big issue. It's like we got some serious problems out there. I give you seven steps, seven tips that can change your life and you get to think about and use this content to help work on your mental health. So if you want to live a life Where you have more of a vision and more direction and you're not getting stressed out.

You're learning to step back from your problems and solve them rather than get consumed by them. You want to know how to have healthier relationships. It's all there. [00:19:00] There's stuff content for you right there and it's free. Worksheet as well as a video. Check it out. You want to sign up for that. Shatterproof Yourself Lite, as well.

So I have a challenge for you right now. And the challenge is for you today, when you go to bed, right before you go to bed to write down before you go to bed, three wins that you had in the day to day in the day that you had. I mean, you can just start training your brain to think about the wins in your life.

And these can be big things and they can be small things, but they're wins because you have determined that this was progress in your life and it won't be easy. It'll be similar to the daily five and five in the morning. It's your evening three, you know, call it your evening three and three if you want, because it's even better to say, here's my three wins from Today, and then here are my three big objectives for tomorrow that I'm going to focus on to make progress tomorrow.

And you end your day that way. The way you start your day has a huge impact on your day. In fact, a [00:20:00] very significant impact on your day. And the way you end your day has a huge impact on your day as well. I believe it has an impact on your sleep and impact on the way you experience your day. The quality of your sleep, the way, what you focus on while you dream, if you're focusing on the potential, you're going to get more opportunities and potential, and you're going to see all the great things you have in your life.

You focus on the obstacles, you get more obstacles. So make it a challenge. The challenge for you today is to write down three wins at the very end of the day. I'm going to go ahead and recap here. So you got these three secrets. So one is to change your perspective on life balance, change that sucker. I mean, it's not, doesn't have to be perfectionistic.

That's probably what the obstacle is. Have a realistic, healthy perspective, make it a seven, seriously, make it a seven, get organized. That's the other secret. Take some time to get organized. That's going to lead to you having more life balance because you're starting to see the gaps and you're starting to see the opportunities to fill in the gaps.

Investing in different parts of your life throughout your day. [00:21:00] And you're going to start assessing your life consistently as you get organized. And the third is trust your gut. So, and think about it. If you are a basketball player or a football player, or you're somebody who is in martial arts, your stance is going to be crucial.

A wider stance is going to give you a foundation to deal with someone trying to push you or hit you, or someone shoving you in basketball, or someone posting up against you. You're going to be able to defend better. You want a wider stance, a broader base. That's what balance is. If you trust your gut, you're going to make these shifts, but you got to listen to your intuition to do the hard thing, not the short term pleasure thing, but you're doing the hard thing in the moment.

So you are trusting that it's going to in the long run pay off and it will. That's promise right there. So you got it. There you have it. Insight is 20 percent of transformational change. Action is 80%. Take an action, an emotional risk, based on the content that you gained today. Do it. It's going to be scary, but it's going to change your life.

An action or a plan that you engage that you take is a [00:22:00] hundred times better than one that you never do. Like a great perfect plan that you never do anything with is so much better than a good plan that you engage in consistently. You want to engage and start today. You got what you need. I'm going to sign off the way I always do.

Make it your mission to 10 years after you're gone. You decide your legacy. No one else. You live this life. It's your opportunity. Don't take it for granted. Today is all you have. Make it the best day possible. I appreciate you greatly and I will see you next time.