So I put off having a hard conversation recently, and then eventually I actually had the talk. It's a dating situation. And I realized probably not the best fit romantically. I waited three or four days longer than I could have or should have. But I eventually had the conversation, and it went really well. It was really positive. I told myself that I don't want to have this conversation because I don't want to hurt their feelings, when the truth is, I didn't want to have the conversation because I don't want to hurt my feelings. So today we're going to talk about having courageous conversations. This is the Decide youe Legacy podcast. These courageous conversations you can have. I want you to have three perspectives that are going to help you to engage. If you would do me a favor, give this podcast a rating and review on Apple or Spotify. That helps it to grow organically and reach more people, to help more people. So I'm your host, Adam Gragg. I have been a Legacy coach and a family therapist for over 25 years. I founded Decide youe Legacy in 2012, corporate development, executive coaching firm, and education. And so our purpose is to empower every person and organization to live courageously. By the end of this episode, you are going to feel more confident in your ability to have difficult conversations. And that excites me because it's going to make your life better. All right? It's going to help improve your life. Now, every episode, as you know, I like to share something courageous that I have done recently. At least it was courageous for me because it pushed up against a fear that I have. And I'm going to challenge you to do the same. Do something uncomfortable in your life each day. Because I have found that not much is more important than doing courageous things for good mental health. It's a requirement, in fact. So one of the things I did that was courageous is I asked my dad, what if my dad's going to be 86 in two weeks? Actually, I said, dad, what is one of your favorite memories of me before age 10? And so. And here his response was. It was. It was okay. You know, I mean, he. He shared about sports and things like that. He kind of referenced, we'll talk to your mom. And, you know, I knew he's kind of do that, going to do that. But, you know, I took a risk. I had the conversation, and I learned some things, and, you know, maybe he'll think about that question later on. I'm going out to visit my parents on Friday, so it'll be kind of Good, talk about it some more. So I, I can make so many excuses in my life to not just be honest with people and then I doubt my ability to actually be able to have these healthy conversations. So I'll second guess and I'll spend time up at night thinking about it just like in my own head. Can you relate to that? I mean, have you done something like that where you just worry and you think about it and you think about it and then you've been maybe in a situation where you actually have the conversation and it goes much better than you ever thought. Like the conversation I had with this really first class person. So there's a cost to not having these conversations, to procrastinating, there's a cost to your life, there's a cost to your relationships, to making these excuses. So I want you to start off with an action today because this is a podcast that you do something with, right? You don't just sit. It's like having core values in a business. I mean, what do they mean if you don't do something with them? So what, what are you gonna do with this content today? So here's, here's the first action I want you to take. Think about something somebo in your life or a situation in life that you're, you're putting off having a hard conversation. It could be business, could be personal. I want you to think about that as we go through this content. And again, by the end of this, you're going to have more confidence to have these difficult conversations. So how do you know if it's something you should address? I got a few things to think about. If it will still bother you in a year, not addressing this situation is probably something you should address. So if you think about and you write down what is that one conversation you want to have and you say, you know my neighbor, I want to talk about them paying for half the fence. And if you think in a year, if I don't have that conversation and you end up paying for the entire fence yourself, is that still going to bother you? Well, then you probably should have the conversation if it's going to bother you. Now, if it's something that 10 minutes from now or 10 days from now is not going to bother you, then maybe you shouldn't even have the conversation. Maybe you're just being overly sensitive. Maybe it's some issue you got to face internally. It's going to bother you in 10 years, you know, you know you want to actually address it. If it's a close relationship, if It's a pattern that's lingering and the damage it's gonna cause by not addressing it. If it's substantial to their life, to your life, to your business, then it's a conversation you're gonna have to actually have. So things you wanna address as you think about this. What are potential hard conversations as an employer? It could be somebody's attitude or their dress or their punctuality. Could be somebody not paying a bill professionally. It could be just saying no to somebody personally and professionally saying sorry to somebody. A hard conversation can be dealing with somebody who's grieving without fixing it, just being there. Actually need somebody to be there by their side. A hard conversation can be talking to somebody who you know is going to be angry or they're going to avoid. It's going to be difficult. So. And you may real, you may be thinking here, and I get this sometimes from business leaders. Well, I don't really have to have a whole lot of tough conversations. You know, I've heard that from a couple people in the last month. And then I think, you know what? I don't really think that's the case. I think they're not approachable, unfortunately. I think it's because whenever somebody does bring something to them, they get defensive potentially, you know, or whenever somebody does bring something to them, they try to fix it. And they don't feel like. Because people don't approach you with problems, if they don't feel like you're gonna really try to understand their perspective. So they get to this place where it's like, I'm not even gonna bring my issues to them because all they're gonna do is try to fix it without even trying to understand really what's going on. They're not actually listening. So people may not be coming for to you for that reason. And I want you to fix that. Because there's one of the damages of not having people, actually not addressing things with people directly is you don't figure out how to solve the problem. And you don't figure out as a business owner, as a parent, what the real problems are. So then you're surprised and you're wondering, you know, when your kids are 40, saying, you know, I never told you about that because it was so hard to talk about that issue with you, because when I was bullied at school the first time, what you did is you went and cussed out the teacher, and then you went to the my friend's dad and you almost started a fight. And how am I going to want to go talk to you about my problems with other kids when that's your reaction. You didn't even try to understand my perspective. So that's what happens. I don't want it to be like that. And if you think about your good friends and the people you get really close to, they're the ones who are willing to have the hard conversations with you. Even the bosses that you trust, because they're willing to fight with you, and they also knew they're gonna fight for you. And I got two really super great friends, and you guys know who you are, and I was talking to one of you last night, and I think, you know, I. I know that with you guys that, you know, I can call, you can. I know you're going to tell me the truth, you know, I know you're going to have the hard conversations with me, and it's really cool to have people in your life like that, you know, so I'm very grateful for you. And so I want you to be and have the same kind of relationships that, you know, I have had the privilege and have the privilege of having at times. And, I mean, they're not perfect by any means, but hopefully you're inspired by the end of this episode. So let's talk about these three perspectives that you want to have that'll help you have courageous, brave conversations. So one of those perspectives, a mindset, basically, a way that you view the world if you're. If you're gonna skydive and you're jumping out at 11,000ft, your perspective is everything you see externally. That's how you view things. So. So that if you go in with a perspective when it comes to having these hard conversations, that there's a growth opportunity here, it's gonna make you much more apt to have the conversation because you see that you can gain from it. It's not a loss. You're not focusing on the obstacle, how bad it's going to go. It's actually what you're going to gain and how you're going to benefit. And it's a real difficult thing. If you've had close relationships, when they get really defensive every time you bring something important to them, or if you share something honest with them, then they go into some kind of blame escape mode. And then you're like, well, I can't talk to that person. And if you've had that, which I have, and some of you listening, have had that with probably your close family, well, you really can't address things with them because to your family they're going to get defensive in those situations. So you start. And that's the unfortunate thing is some of you have people, parents you can't really talk to, and you have friends that you can't really talk to, and they're not really that close of friends because you can't really be honest with them about really what's going on here. So you go through without the attitude that it's going to actually be beneficial. Even if it goes south, you're not going to get to a resolution. You're not gonna actually get to the bottom of the issue. As a business owner, you're in a vulnerable situation because you're not actually addressing the core problem and you're maybe living in excuses right there. So not cool. You know, I had a situation today with my daughter. No, yesterday with my daughter that I. I saw something that discouraged me. She's 18. And I realized when I saw it that I do need to say something about this and I want to have this conversation. And she, she has a. She's a great. I love. I love her. You know, we're going on spring break and gonna hang out over on Friday for five days and six days, you know. But I. I started to draft a text and then, thank goodness I didn't actually send it because it wouldn't have been well thought through. It was very emotional. I knew it was a situation they wanted to address, but the approach that I was gonna take was not gonna be the most positive. And so luckily I didn't actually say anything. And even in this situation, this dating situation I knew was a situation I wanted to address. But if I would have addressed it without thinking it through and even talking to some friends, I wouldn't have had the same healthy approach. And really, the email that I drafted, I mean, the conversation that I had, the language that I used was much healthier because I had talked to some friends about it. So really important. But if I think about it, it's going to actually be helpful. So you have situations. And I lead these coaching groups called Legacy Group, and we meet. Actually one of them meets tomorrow. And then I'll lead these. Actually very similar kind of framework that I'll do with businesses at times. And so I'll ask people at the beginning. I did this with a company leadership team yesterday. I said, well, what are your. With your job this week? What are your two to three main points of focus? Things you gotta focus on to have a good week? I mean, think about your responsibilities as a leader, your department, what are the Things that if you don't deal with them, they're gonna have consequences. They're gonna be things related to these, these actions you can take. And then they list what those actions are. And then yesterday I had the whole company leadership team, they actually identified together what are the two top issues for the company. It's company, it's a, it's a medium sized company. They got two or 300 employees. And then out of that came two big issues. And they actually agreed as a team that these are the things we have to address because they had to. One of them was hiring because they needed to hire some new employees. They have a issue where they're having to use a lot of contractors when they want to use employees and another one was a facility. So they needed some different. They wanted to get departments under the same, inside the same building and they wanted to have discussions about that. So the thing I've been working on them with them is that having real time direct feedback. So in the midst of these conversations they're able to say push back or openly share. Build trust. First and foremost, we've worked on building trust a lot. I mean this is a group I've been working with for six months and working on building trust. It creates a situation where they are more comfortable giving real time feedback. Like I feel like this is the concern here or tell me more about this or here's my opinion on it. Or even calling people on the carpet. I mean there was some of that yesterday where one individual was calling the carpet and he took it. It was really great because he was like, I believe these people. I can trust these people. They are on my side. And so they took it, took that information. So that. But that took them all having this mindset that hey, it's beneficial to have these types of conversations. Beneficial because we don't waste time, we don't waste energy. We build more trust. We're honest, we're solving problems, we're making progress, we're moving the needle. And that's super exciting. So the thing I'd like for you to consider doing right now is to hit the link in. Oh, actually don't do that. Don't hit the link, do this instead. That's what I had you to had you do. And there is actually a link to ShadowFit for yourself Lite. But here's, here's the challenge for you right now is you can get the Decide youe Legacy app on the App Store, Apple App Store and you can get it in Google Play and inside of that App, there is a bonus section. You go through shadowfit for yourself light. And the bonus section is on a worksheet on creating a in on laying out a courageous conversation. So you, you identify somebody you want to talk to, a situation. This is going to help you break it down so that you're going to be much more comfortable. This is exactly what I did when I had a conversation with a business vendor who I was making some changes with. And when I had this romantic conversation, it wasn't like romantic in the sense that it was really romantic. I mean, it was romantic in the sense that it was related to a potential romantic relationship. Yeah. So yeah. It was not whispering love into somebody's ears that. Not at all. So I want you to check that out because it's going to be a great resource. So the second perspective that will help you is that not only is it going to help them, but it's going to help you. It's going to help you make better decisions because you're having courageous conversations. It's going to help you not waste time because you're having courageous conversations. It's going to be actually a great sense of relief, a weight off your back, because you're not letting these things linger. Your confidence is going to grow because after you have it and you see that it leads to some progress in your life, you're going to start believing in yourself more and realize that you can have more of these and more of these and you can start just, you know, yelling at everybody. Oh, you can start just dealing with stuff in your life and it's not lingering, it's not keeping you up at night. You're facing things and you're going to surprise some people, especially if you're like me, who's somebody that has had this habit of not being courageous in certain situations, especially emotionally when it comes to stuff like this. Which is why I have a passion for what I do because I get to help people deal with things that I struggle with myself. It's going to help you build solid relationships and it's also going to give you more feedback so you can make changes in your life. I know of some businesses that have a culture where it's. It's hard when you work there because they have a high feedback culture is what I would call it. And this is this one leadership team. They have be created a high feedback culture. It's really cool to see, but I know of some that have been doing that for a long time. And it's hard for new people to go in because I know of one big organization that has this kind of culture where somebody's a new employee. It's really hard to get a job there. I mean, they have a real, really cool vetting process, but once you're there, you are doing a lot of role play and they do public speaking because it's a job where there's a lot of sales and so people practice selling and people are given permission to point out weaknesses in a kind way, in a gentle way, consistently. You know, I know of actually a big church, you know, life church is what it's called. They have a very high feedback culture. And I've had the privilege of doing coaching with leader with pastors there over the years for the, for the church. And I've gotten exposed to this culture. And I know it's very difficult at times to work in a culture like if you're not used to that and you haven't actually worked where people are going to be just quickly giving you feedback like, this doesn't work. This does work. You know, if you keep going down this path, you're probably not going to have a job. I mean, that's. That's kind of the thing there in. But you do it in a way. And I'm not saying they would actually say that kind of stuff in that environment. It's a very high trust environment as well. But there's this level of I want to get better and anybody that works here is going to have to grow or they're going to have to go. That's what the culture does and that's what healthy cultures do. They really do. And if, and. But it goes both ways. If they're in the leadership's not leading in a way where they're a really good example, then they're going to have to address and get. They're going to have that addressed with them as well. So it's really a cool stuff. So my mom, when she was 17, one of her friends in high school, her dad actually had a heart issue and had heart surgery. And my mom's 77, so this was 60 years ago. And he died on the operating table. And my mom, I was. I've learned some things even this year about my mom that I never knew. And one of them was that this experience, I didn't actually know this actually happened. But she said she went home and her mom told her. Her mom knew about this. And her mom said that she needed to go immediately to her friend's house and be there for her friend and her friend's mother. And my mom was adamant that she was not going to do that. She was not equipped. She would not be there and go and have that conversation. Her mom refused to let her. She's like, you're going to go and do this and get in your car, Angie, and do this, or you're not going to be staying here tonight. You know, you might as well just go live somewhere else. It was that it was a big deal. And so my mom actually went and did it begrudgingly. Said she was extremely upset with her mom. And then she said it's one of the best things her mom ever challenged her to do because that friendship is still strong, strong today. She said she was the only friend and her friend told this, told her this years later. And her. Her friend's mom told her this years later as the only friend that was there for her in that period of time. And it created a bond, like I said, that's lasted to this day because she was challenged. Her mom was not afraid in that situation to have a courageous conversation, a very difficult conversation that my mom had to go and see that she could have a courageous conversation. And the cool part about it is that it benefited everyone involved. My mom was talking about it with emotion right now, 60 years later, isn't that cool? I mean, these things change lives. These things change lives. So it's really exciting thing. Now again, I want to remind you, this is helpful for you. You need a tool that's going to help you break this down. I'd really encourage you to have some kind of a tool. You know, one thing you can do, and I'm going to link in the show notes, is you can read a book called. There's two books that have been useful to me. One's called Crucial Conversations and it helps you to find some clarity on how to have a difficult conversation. Another one is called Fierce Conversations. And both of those you can link to and check them out. They're books that can give you some inspiration and help you have some confidence. But more than that, even though I would tell you that this worksheet is going to help you because. And it's actually something that I have put together over the years, you can create your own. It's just going to give you some really ideas of. Some ideas of questions you want to answer and some thoughts to have as you go into one of these more challenging conversations. It'll get you to place too, as I find that when I have something prepared in advance, like some. An outline for a speech, if I'M going to be speaking or an outline to do a performance evaluation for an employee. It just gives me some security, knowing I'm going in prepared. You'll want to be prepared. I think over time, you'll realize that they're going to go a hundred times better when you have some level of preparation for having that conversation. So to get that, you're going to want to download the app, the Decide youe Legacy app on Apple or in Google, and then go to the bonus section for Shatterproof Yourself Light. You're going to see courageous conversations. I'll walk you through as a video there, show you how to actually do it. So some of these conversations that you want to have, some of the questions that I'll walk you through, just give you a little sample. You know, is this clearly defining the facts related to the issue? So you're not going based on emotion. So, for example, if you're addressing something with an employee's attitude, you're not just saying, your attitude's bad. What's up with that crappy attitude? No, you're saying, I want to address and have a conversation about your attitude. For example, yesterday in that meeting, you rolled your eyes. And you may not even be aware of that, but you rolled your eyes when Sarah addressed a concern you had, she has with you. All right, that's something I want to address. And you have complained in the last meeting about pay and about what you're being asked to do as an employee. And you're a leader here, and I want to address that. So how are we going to get to the bottom of this? So that's what I mean by that. Then you're sharing the facts, and you're asking some very specific questions. You're wanting to know their perspective. You're listening, but you're getting to the bottom of it. So that's the second perspective. It's gonna help not only you, but it's also gonna help them. And then the third perspective to have that's gonna give you courage in having these conversations is to remember that it gets worse if you wait. You know, that motivates me. It actually gets worse if you wait. So the longer I waited to have this conversation that I referenced at the beginning of the podcast, this dating conversation, the worse it would have gotten. The more stories I would have made up in my head, the worse the result was going to actually be because I would have started to make up stuff that, oh, they're going to be so mad at me, and it's never going to meet anybody. Else, and it's going to be horrible. And they're probably going to try and burn my house down. I mean, it's that kind of stuff that can happen. It's not true, but it's worse if you wait. So once, you know, don't wait and err on the side of courage. You think it's going to be horrible, but you don't know that. You don't have facts. It's going to be horrible. And you're probably going to get a much better result than you think. It helped me in this situation to talk to my friend Alan, great friend, and my friend Ben. I needed their encouragement. And then I realized afterwards, because I called them after I had had the conversation, and I realized too, as I processed it with them, what was I so afraid of? I mean, this is a classy person. It's not like people that you've dealt with in the past. So I put it off because I felt that it was going to be a horrible result. But there was no horrible result. Abraham Lincoln knew this too. He, he knew something that I've learned here too. There are situations that you don't actually address. And as you've done that, 10, 10, 10, 10, like, how am I going to feel 10 minutes later, 10 days later, 10 days later, 10 months later, 10 years later? You know, that's going to give you some clarity on whether you should address it or whether you should not address it. Now, Abraham Lincoln at his death, he had a number of letters that he had written to people that were fairly scathing, to generals, to other politicians, to people that he was that were in his cabinet, to people that were very important in his life and very important in the United States, I mean, our history. And he never actually sent those letters. So we have record of these because there's. They were written but never actually mailed. And what I take from that is there were times where he was writing these letters to clarify his thoughts, which he. And he was getting clarity. And he was realizing this wasn't going to be beneficial to send this letter. I don't need to actually send this letter. So that's similar to what I did with the issue with my daughter, which. And it was an issue related to dating and feel like I want to have a conversation with her. And it's important thing to have. And though you parents out there, even when your kids are 18, you are needed in their life and there are situations, you dads out there, your daughters and everything, you know, you have to be coaching, you have to be Talking and not afraid to, but do it in a warm way. So here's. Here's my strategy. I don't think she's gonna listen to this podcast, but I'm. I'm flying out to California. Oh, I know she won't listen to it because it won't be actually published until after she. We're back from our trip. So here's my strategy is I'm gonna actually talk to her about it on our flight from Denver right when it takes off, because I know we got two hours in the air before we land in Sacramento, so she can't run from the conversation. And I have to have it all written out. I'm going to practice what I preach. I've got to have it all written out. If I would have sent the text yesterday morning, it would have gone south. I mean, it wouldn't have been good. And maybe she wouldn't even be going on this trip with me. I mean, that's true. I hate to say that because it could have been in my. At my mindset and attitude was not going to be great. I was being very reactive. And the way you approach a courageous conversation, the first 30 seconds are the initial. First, like the first thing that you say and the first things that you address basically are going to have 80% that's going to have a huge impact on the result you get. You know, John Gottman would say that the softened startup. So the first 30 seconds of a conversation impact 80% of the result of that conversation. So be very caught. Be very calculated. I would have to. Well, or. I don't like that word. But be very careful on how you bring up a conversation based on that. And then you may even as you write it out and think about how you're going to bring it up, you may pull an Abraham Lincoln and realize you don't even need to address it because maybe it's already actually addressed. You know, it's kind of cool how, how things happen like that. Like, I've had situations with, with Emerson too, where I wanted to address something. And then I realized one of her friends addressed the same thing. And then she made a change based on what her friend said. I didn't have to actually say anything. That's so cool. So. And I'm pretty encouraged. She has texted me recently about one of those things. Like it's another unrelated issue that I haven't, that I've said things about before in the past, but I haven't said anything recently. I'm not planning on saying anything. But then she texts me because it appears that one of her friends has addressed it, and she's making some real cool positive changes because of that friends feedback. Man, we need our friends so much, and that's such an important thing, and I think we can all be challenged on that at times. So people's. People's responses when you do address things, this is what. It gets worse if you Wait. So once you do address it, even if the initial reaction might be horrible, it may actually be a tremendously positive experience. You know, I can think of a situation. Dating again. So this was probably three or four years ago, and I was going on some dates with a gal, and I felt like it was promising. And. And then this gal, which is usually a red flag in a dating relationship, they start bringing up old boyfriends. All right? So. And she was bringing up an old boyfriend that she was saying was stalking her or harassing her or whatever. And I don't know. I don't know the details of it, but I. I wanted to just as a friend to kind of be there and supportive. And so I asked her for some details. I actually met with her for coffee, and I said, hey, can you. Can you tell me more? Because that kind of concerns me. And then she shared some more, and I asked her for specifics because good communication requires specifics, because people will say things like, oh, my boss is abusive. You know, oh, my dad is abusive. Well, give me a specific example. Oh, my, you know, whatever is stalking me. And I'm not doubting. I mean, I really went in thinking this is fully accurate information. And maybe it was. I just got one example, and she said that the guy had broken into her house and. Had. Had broken. And she told me how. And then I said, well, what happened after you broke in? And she said, well, he stayed the night. And I said, okay, this is interesting because you're saying somebody broke into your house and then they stayed the night. And excited. I had been saying, like, well, are you going to call the police? I mean, couldn't this guy do it to somebody else? You know, stalkers don't just have one victim. This. And it was this resistance and got very defensive that got up from the table. I think it was because she heard herself talking and then realized, this sounds really crazy what I'm talking about here. But the cool thing about it is, like, I addressed it and it was. I mean, I liked this gal, and I was really hoping it was. I felt like it was promising. And I don't know. I mean, this is. This is a while ago. So things could have totally changed. And I wish all the best and hope things changed and everything, but it gave me some really valuable information. It was at that point that I realized this person doesn't have enough emotional awareness to see that this kind of behavior really isn't healthy and they're not taking ownership of their role in this behavior, which is cool. I mean, like, it was a win, win. I mean, I won. I hope she won. But I, I definitely won because I got information that helped me to know my level of trust in this, in this, in this person, which is really a benefit. So you're going to win even if it's something that doesn't go the way you want. I mean, I wish it was like, well, hey, you know, I'm so glad you addressed this issue. I can tell you're a friend and care about me and you're right. I mean, I really want to address this and get the police involved. But it wasn't that. It was like a lot of defenses. It was defensiveness. So I got a lot of good, valuable information. People that shut down and can't take it in a courageous conversation, they're giving you really valuable information. People that can address it, they're giving you, you know, really valuable information. They're showing you their character, they're showing you what they are willing to deal with in their own life. So it's really positive and powerful. So again, I want to challenge you to go ahead and download the app on Apple or in Google Play, go through Shadow Proof Yourself Lite. It's free as a worksheet and everything. But at the very end of that, in the bonus section, which you can go right to the bonus section, you're gonna get access to this courageous conversation worksheet and video is gonna walk you through that. And you know, I wanna end to this podcast with something. It's a fun activity that I like to take clients through. And you can just do this on your own. I'd encourage you to journal this. It's really fun. And I'm gonna do, I like to do something that's kind of a giveaway thing. Okay. People pay me. Big money activity. All right, so. And I'm not charging anything, but I will, I will say this. I will charge you by you, you like this episode. You share it with somebody, say, this is really cool and this is helpful and that's how you can pay me back. And you, you like it, give it a five star rating review. Apple, Spotify, share it with somebody. It's Going to be great. So, so this is called. I call this the insomnia activity. So you think about something that keeps you up at night. So what kept you up last night? Or what in the last month or two? What was something that took some sleep? Were you worried about money? Were you worried about, you know, your kids? Were you worried about dating? Were you worried about your health? Were you worried about, you know, politics, whatever it is. So, and I want you to be very specific about why you're worried about this thing, all right? So an example could be you're worried about your health and you're worried that you're gonna lose your sight or you're gonna lose your health. Some, some. Some aspect of your health in some reason. And then I want you to write down very specific what it is that that worry is. It's your nightmare, you know, it's what's keeping you up at night. Then I want you to write down what the opposite would be. Okay, the opposite of that would be. And so what would the opposite of losing your health be? Well, it'd be having great, really awesome health, working out all the time, eating great food, you know, living to 125. I mean, that would be. And so that's going to give you a clue intuitively of what you do want most in life. People have trouble knowing what they want, all right? And you know what you want often, intuitively, by knowing what you really don't want. You know, if you really, really don't want rejection in your life, you probably really do want great connections that are secure and that you don't have to worry about because you have a good, trusting relationship. So that's your little freebie there. So, okay, let's go ahead and let's go through this recap here and challenge you. So if you want to, if you really want to have courageous conversations, go ahead and cultivate these three perspectives. It's helpful to other people. So do. It's going to be helpful to you. And then it's worse if you wait. So don't wait. So what insight have you gained by listening to this episode today? What was most inspiring for you by the end of the day today, I want you to take some kind of an action. A decision means that you're eliminating other options, and your legacy is the impact that your life has on other people. There's not going to be any positive in your change in your life unless you decide. Decide today. You know, insight which you've gained today is only 20% of change. Action. The decision part is 80% a good plan that you take no action on. I mean, a good plan that you take action on is a hundred times better than a plan, a perfect plan you do nothing with. So, again, please, do me a favor. Forward this episode. Do me a favor to a friend. Share it. Say, hey, this episode was helpful. I think you could use. Or maybe you specifically can address me. Could help you with your coworker. Could really help you with your kids. Something like that. So I want to sign off the way I always do. Live the life today that you want to be remembered for 10 years after you're gone. You decide your legacy. Nobody else. Here's the thing. Either you decide it, or fear by default is going to decide your legacy. I appreciate you greatly, and I will see you next time.