So welcome to the Decide youe Legacy Podcast. I'm Adam Gragg. This week

we're gonna replay a previous podcast that's a favorite of mine

and it's an important topic for leaders. It's on never giving your power away.

And we can do that by giving into our emotions, by giving into

our fears, by avoiding and not being aware of how we're being

triggered and letting that dictate the decisions that we make.

Example of this recently for me is I went to Boston to see my daughter

and I ordered a steamed lobster. That steamed lobster was actually

the whole entire lobster. It wasn't just the meat. I thought it was just the

meat. Made a mistake by not asking for more details, but I looked at this

thing and I had to clean it out. There's green guts inside of a lobster.

I didn't realize that and I was a little bit disappointed at first,

but I stepped back. I didn't let my disappointment or the cost of this

meal take my power away to where it could ruin the time

that I had with my daughter. I didn't enjoy the meal the way

I thought I would, but I enjoyed the experience, made a great experience. So as

you as a leader, there's moments every day where you can

give your power to your circumstances, your thoughts, the situation you're in,

it can drain you. It can take away that interaction

being positive and meaningful. And it's not fair to those you're interacting with, not

fair to yourself. Check out this podcast on never giving your power

away.

Something uncomfortable I did recently and I share this to challenge. Challenge you to do

the same. I apologized to somebody and they actually

responded saying that they appreciated my apology. It went really. It was good. It was

awkward. But anyway, I did and then I went and spoke to a

company and first time I'd spoken to this company before and after the event, I

had lunch with everybody that was there, about 40 people there, 50 people there.

And I made it a goal to not actually say anything about myself and

just to be curious about the people that were actually there. And I realized how

hard that is for me because I want to prove. I still struggle with proving

my worth to people. But it went well. I got to know some people. It

was a German company. I got to know some really cool Germans and had a

great time. So I'm your host, Adam Gragg. I'm a legacy coach, a blogger,

speaker, mental health professional, and I aim to teach concepts that you

can talk to your 6 year old about and they can understand them and you

can discuss them with them. So my goal is to keep it simple. And I

talk about subjects and topics that I struggle with myself. I

don't have it all figured out. I mean, I'm a fellow traveler trying to figure

this stuff out myself. And I challenge you to listen today, not just as a

student, but as a teacher, so that you're going to discuss some concept that you

learned today with, with maybe your 6, 7 year old, with your wife, with your

friend, with your teenager, and something that resonates to you, but you'll do that in

the next 12 hours because then it's going to stick much, much more. And the

reason I share those uncomfortable things at the beginning of every show is because

I have found that there's not much more important to good mental health than actually

facing your fears dead on just doing it. And there's not much more

damaging than just playing it safe and hiding out. This is the

podcast that you do not just listen to. So I want to start with an

action, as I always do. So who or what is something that you give your

away to? So is it a situation? Is it an addiction?

Is it your past? Is it a person? Is it romantically or a family

member or one of your children? Is it a problem, a health issue? You get

consumed by it. You think about it, you focus on it. It controls your emotions,

it takes away your joy. Is it a family issue or a loss in your

life? Or is it an ideology, like a system of ideas

and ideals? So, for example, materialism, or it could be used to

political ideology. Not necessarily a bad thing. But you're giving your power away

to that thing, so it's stealing your joy. I can think of times where I

gave my way to being an Oregon Duck football fan. And if they

lost in the national championship game, I knew I was going to lose sleep and

it was going to derail me for a little bit. That's being fanatical, which I

spoke in the last Decide youe Legacy podcast about. There are times when it's good

to be fanatical, kind of excessive, over the top. There are times when

you shouldn't be. Most of the time you shouldn't be. You don't want to be.

You don't want to be because it's not going to be good for your mental

health. So giving your power away to somebody, a problem, a situation, it's

stealing that ability, although you're still responsible, but

it's giving that power, responsibility

away to some other situation, not a good great

thing. So write down just Something you give. Away your power to. Speak it in

your phone, write it in your journal, pull your car over, something. What do you

give your power away to? And just put that down. Is it your boss? Is

it your job? Is it materialism? You know, is it even the kind of

legalism? I mean, that can be an ideology, it can be a good. I mean,

your faith can be a great thing, but legalistic views can be really damaging. Is

it something that, you know, you gotta kind of lay back on?

But what are you giving your power away? Is it a parent? Is it one

of your kids? And, you know, I had a dream recently,

this was really interesting. It was actually last night. I can't believe it, but I

had a dream. It was so vivid. I thought it was real and I believed

it. It was like I had a dream that for some

reason my teeth were in really bad shape. It was really strange, I know, but

I woke up believing this was true. And I remember getting up and looking in

the mirror because my dream was that my teeth had rotted and that I was

thinking about ways that I wouldn't be able to. Was going to be avoiding showing

these to people that my teeth were in such bad shape. My teeth are in

good shape. I take good care of my teeth. But it was so stinking real,

like, vivid. And that's what happens here, is we can believe

something so vividly that is really not true. And

that can be a way of giving our power away. And the problem is that

when we give our power to a situation that we believe is true,

or that we feel like we have no authority in that situation, like in a

relationship or a job or whatever, our finances or whatever, then we.

We feel like we have no choice and we back ourselves into a corner. And

that causes some major problems. It can really cause great anxiety and depression.

It can cause us to stop trusting ourselves and our intuition and

to go by rules and checklists, it can increase the stress level in our lives,

tremendous levels, because we don't believe we have a choice in the situation.

I was relieved to see that my teeth were fine. So in this episode today,

you're going to learn how to take your power back when you've been giving it

away. Four facts to keep in mind. So fact number one, and

these are hard for me to even tell myself because a lot of times I

do not want to believe that these are facts, but I do believe that they're

facts. They're just inconvenient facts. Actually, they make

my life a lot better. But in the Moment, they make it more difficult

because I have responsibility at that point. And responsibility isn't always fun

because it requires vulnerability. You have to make a choice. You have to make a

decision, and then you got to do something different, or you don't have to, or

you can do something different. So, number one fact, number one is you have power

over your thoughts. You don't have complete control over your thoughts.

Things are going to be intrusive, but you do have power over your thoughts. You

have the ability to focus on good things in your

life and opportunities or obstacles and problems. You have the ability

to determine what you're going to focus on after that initial

negative thought or that initial fear or that negative core belief that you have. And

whether you're going to feed it or wallow in it, you have power and

influence. Not total control, but power and influence. I remember,

right, really, for probably three years after my divorce, I kept

this narrative in my mind that people are judging me, people are looking at

me. You know, I am looked at as a failure. How could you do this,

Adam? You know, how could this all happen? Whatever. I mean, all these thoughts,

not true. But they went through my mind and they led me to acting in

a certain way where I'd isolate and where I would just get focused on work

and that addiction there. And they led me to not being in a great

place. But the second thought after I have that initial thought is my responsibility.

And what I can do is tell myself the truth, or I can keep filling

and feeding those lies. The choice is up to me.

And so I stopped doing my daily five and five for a period of time.

I stopped doing my gratitude practices for a period of time. I stopped doing journaling

and reading at the level that I had done before. I stopped doing some things

and not feeding my mind with good stuff, but just wallowing in the bad

stuff. There are some actions you can take if you want to work on your

thoughts. A couple things you can do. One is stay

productively busy. You know, first admit that they are your responsibility. Stay productively

busy. So having a schedule and keeping it, having some structure in your life, I

got off of that structure in my life. You know, there's a cliche, and it's.

You know, an idle mind is a devil's workshop. You know, cliche is like an

opinion. It's overused, and it's often

something that is true, but we don't want to hear it, or we

have it as a. In a cliche format to make it really convenient, easy.

And then it's something that we can just really easily discard

then because we don't want to really think about it. But there's real truth to

that because if we're just idle and we're just spinning in our own heads

and not doing something productive, then we can very easily succumb to

that negativity and easily succumb to others opinions about us that might not be

positive or easily succumb to things that we believe that really aren't true and not

challenge that truth with some kind of thinking that's positive and more accurate

and more true. As I go through those questions that I have many times, what's

more accurate, healthy, positive, true about this situation, about that initial thought

that you can replace it with and we can be quick to doing that. So

I was watching a documentary about Kirk Cousins quarterback. I'm

a fan and he does and has done for over a decade neurofeedback.

And neurofeedback is basically where you're giving yourself some feedback on

your thinking pattern. So for example, I used to, when I would do couples

counseling, I used to hook up both of the couples to a pulse

oximeter and it would measure their heart rate and their blood oxygenation level.

And what would happen in a conflict is one of theirs would actually there was

an alarm that would go off when it reached a certain level. And so it

would go off because they were so elevated. And at that point it gave them

some information that it's probably not going to be a productive conversation from this point

forward until you both take a timeout and step back from it. Because those

by those, you know, their heart rate and their oxygenation level were indicating

that they were under a great deal of stress. I call that brain lock. They're

in brain lock. How do we get out of that? We can do that with

ourselves by we can give ourselves some feedback. Because your body's telling

you as you get in tune with it that you're not thinking straight, that you're

under stress, you may carry it somewhere. I carry it in my stomach oftentimes. I

carry it in my shoulders and my neck as well. But it tells me that,

okay, I got to change something that I'm thinking here, deal with something in my

life. And neurofeedback's excellent. I mean I think there's some really great.

There's. I can put some links in the show notes to one, to actually two

companies that I'm. That I really like as far as having at home.

Neurofeedback. And that can give you some information, more details

on this, but it's. It's really helpful. Gives you some information on how your body's

responding to your thinking patterns, and it can help you stay more focused. So fact

number two, okay, this one, I especially do not want to believe

this is you have power over your emotions. Not

total control, not total influence, but you have a lot of

influence over your emotions. And what we feel is directly

connected in some fashion to what we're focusing on the most. So if, for

example, a child is told as they grow up that people aren't trustworthy,

and you know you can't trust people in business, you can't trust people when in

relationships, your friends will betray whatever. People have parents that are like that maybe because

they've been hurt in their life. And if you're a child growing up with that,

and that's the way one of your parents is acting. So they may not have

a lot of friends, they may not get out a lot, or they may just

really be focused on certain parts of their profession. That's it. And

so, but they're getting that message that people aren't trustworthy. So it'd be very natural

to have feelings of, oh, my gosh, if I interact with people,

they're going to hurt me. So real apprehension, which is an emotion,

a lack of peace around people, for some reason, they're just connecting that they

could hurt me. Even though the person's not going to hurt them. It's just

how they're feeling in the moment. But their feelings are connected to their

thinking, and their thinking in that example was connected to how their parents interacted.

We can let our emotions linger, or after we feel them, we can try to

understand them, and we can try to figure out what it's trying to tell us

about. About our situation. Because emotions are a compass. They tell you to move

away from something, to move towards something, to adjust something. They will tell you that

your thinking is off, that you need to adjust it. Well, that you can adjust

it. You don't need to, but you can. That you can adjust it, that you

can make your perspective and attitude more healthy, that you can do some

things to change. That's a blessing about emotions.

People will often say, and I have said in my life too, that I can't

stop worrying. And I remember one period when I was struggling and not

facing some things in my life a few years back, I remember that, that I

was worrying about everything. I mean, I'm gonna be sued, I'm gonna get in an

accident. I'm gonna have. Something's gonna happen with the plane, this

relationship's gonna be bad, my friends don't really like me or whatever it

might be. I could worry about anything at that point. And the reason I

was doing that is because when we are habitually worrying and we start

to have some sense of peace, we just replace it with something else to worry

about. And especially if we have other core issues that we're not actually dealing with,

then we're gonna find something else that's smaller that we can focus on and feel

some sense of control over in our lives, of control in one area of our

lives. We'll find something that we can control in our lives. And it could be

something positive, it could be something very negative. It could be something very negative, like

worrying, for example, because it doesn't really solve anything. It's just ruminating and thinking we're

going to come to a solution, but not actually ever coming to that solution. So

we just go over it again and again and again. So those little things become

our focus. I see this consistently with clients. And it was funny. I was meeting,

having lunch with a bunch of other people that are in mental health profession and

coaching profession and we were talking about our clients and talking about

situations, just having some pizza and having a good old time. And I remember one

of my, one of my friends, Todd, he actually shared that he

has had clients throughout the years. And then he was talking about one specific client

that like the very end of the session just really addresses a

core issue in her life. And so she waits and waits and waits.

And then right when she's about to leave, this core real issue that needs to

be discussed is brought up. You know, it's a real safe thing for a client

to do because then they don't have to deal with it in that session. Because

usually a lot of people that do what I do have clients back to back.

Sometimes they don't, but we do that too. I mean, we avoid, avoid, avoid, and

we focus on these things that we feel like we have some control over and

don't deal with the core issues. So what can you do here? Some things you

can do. So one is, and these are things you can do right away. I

mean, there are stuff you can apply a couple of things you can do to

work on this. To work on this fact that you have power over your

emotions and you don't have to give that power away to other people.

And what they do and react, you don't have to react. And

reaction is like, no Power response means there's

a space between that trigger and what we actually do. An intentional response

response versus an unintentional reaction. So what we can do is we can

do not resist your emotions. Don't repress your emotions. Don't hide from and

self medicate your emotions. Let them come, don't fight them.

That's not the best way to deal with them. Addiction is often the repression of

emotion, of negative emotion. Let them come and then see them as

a gift and then learn from them. And as you do that and you don't

repress them, you may talk to a friend about them, you may journal about them,

you may try to understand them by just processing them in your own head. Like,

where's that coming from? What's going on here? But you're not actually running from it.

So you can start making progress in your life. And emotional maturity comes

from facing your emotions. Sometimes it used to be that we would talk about,

and I haven't heard this in a long time, but that addiction stunts your

emotional growth. So that someone becomes an addict at like age 16 and

then they get sober at age 26 and they're gonna still be a

16 year old. I see some real truth to that. Because those emotions are such

a teacher. When we run from them, we don't learn from them. When then we

just keep making the same mistake again and again. It's a cycle of

insanity. We keep thinking we're gonna find the same solution through means

and mode, and it's not working for us. So number two that you can do,

you can take, is you can figure out the root of your emotions. So that

means actually dealing with your past. That means actually figuring out, well, what is really

triggering me here. I'm triggered in this situation where somebody is rejecting me, but the

emotion is so strong, it's like, I'm going to die. And I'm not going to

die. It's just a sales call, well, what's going on here? And then you ask

yourself, you know, what is really happening here? And you get to know yourself and

understand and over time, and it may be talking to a friend or a therapist

or a coach or a pastor, or maybe journaling. But you realize that, okay, that's

connected to my past in this way because I experienced some great rejection as a

kid and I don't want to experience that again. That's why I'm having this shut

down, run away, cut off kind of response, emotional cutoff kind of thing.

And then you realize that I have some power over that. Response. So you're like,

that's triggering me. Because in a very strong way in your head, you're saying this

because of what happened in my past. And I don't have to react. I can

respond and I can ask questions and I can be curious and I can

listen. I don't have to run. I can deal with the root cause. And

that is power. I'm telling you, man, there, that is serious power.

When you recognize that, okay, this is not in this present situation. This

present situation ain't the problem. I can handle this present situation. Now.

I just don't think I can handle it because of what I experienced in the

past. But I have power and confidence and I can handle it. I had a

client last week tell me that it was the exact same thing. It was like

this guy. In that moment, I thought, you have made a

breakthrough. It was like a new person, the way he was talking and he was

seeing that he does not have to be and give his power away to the

past and does not have to give his power away to relationships and that he

has choice in the matter, because we believe we don't have choice in our thoughts

and in our feelings, but we do, and we don't have to give it away.

And I've seen that with health problems for people. I've seen that with

tragedy. I've seen that with people that go through severe

neglect and abandonment and all kinds of major issues where they

retain their power and they don't give it away to that situation. And that's so

inspiring. And we have so many inspiring stories throughout history of people who have

done that. And. And it inspires me today. And I want to be an inspiration

to other people by moving forward through difficult situations, knowing that

as hard as it seems in this situation, I don't have to give my power

away. So if you found this podcast helpful so far, hit the link

to Shatterproof yourself. Seven small steps to a giant leap in

your mental health. You'll only get that through subscribing through

that link, and you will not want to miss that. It's a brief video and

workbook, actionable tools that can transform your life.

So fact number three, again, I don't want to believe this, but I know it's

true. You have power over your response to

others, to other people. When people say to me, you know,

they made me do it, or they're making me feel so sad, or they're making

me so angry, or that situation's making me so angry, or this occurred and that

occurred and I can't get over it. I can't shake it. They're giving their power

away to that situation. And we're not talking about grief here because grief is a

natural depressive cycle we go through and we come out on the other side

at some point. Point where we're accepting the situation and seeing how it can

be used for good and seeing how it can be a blessing to others. Not

that we're glad it happened, but we're getting to the other side and moving forward.

But this is different. This is when we're wallowing and stuck and we're

blaming. At that point, we're blaming this external thing for keeping us in this

situation, this health issue, our education, our lack thereof, the mistakes

we've made in the past, whatever it may be. So we

have control over our initial response to other people. We don't have

to react. We don't have to actually react. You can

react or you can respond, but when I had this

fender bender about a week and a half ago, I

got out of the car, I checked to make sure the lady was okay. I

didn't know if there were kids in the car. I didn't know who was in

the car. So that was my first inclination, was just to go check and see

if everyone was okay. And it was a single woman, she was okay. I asked

her, I was flustered. She was flustered. Asked her to pull over into the parking

lot of this place nearby. And so she did and got out of the car,

talked to her. She told me she was calling her son in law. He came

out and he was there and like quick. I mean, I don't know, maybe two

or three minutes. It was pretty cool. But this guy gets like the son in

law of the year award. I will tell you, I'd really. I think I really

like him. I don't even remember his name. I don't know his name. But it

was unfortunate how we met because I was really impressed by how he was.

He was defensive in a really healthy way for his mother in law or really

concerned for her. And then he shows concern for me, which I thought was really

cool because he doesn't know me. And there was a good interaction

there, really positive. It was really good that nobody was hurt and all

the whole thing worked out. And I think in that situation I could

have been defensive, but I had to choose intentionally to say, okay, I'm really

flustered. This is not fun, but okay, what's going on here? Let's get to the

facts. I couldn't really Even find my insurance card on my phone because I was

so flustered. But I was trying my best. And that's really all we got to

do is try our best not to get sucked into the situation and do what

you would do if you were calm. That's the thing I tell myself in those

kinds of situations. Do what you would do if you were actually calm. I remember

years ago, this is like a decade ago, that I had an executive. Well, actually

it was a group of engineers at a local. At a local

plane manufacturing plant and one of the main jet manufacturers

in the world, at least at the time. And they. I was talking to

everybody, and I think it was a group of executives and engineers, whatever. But I

remember this guy clearly. I was talking about this daily five and five

practice that I encourage clients to engage in. So you talk, you list in journal,

and you write down handwriting journal. You know, five things that happened yesterday that were

positive in your life and five things you're looking forward to later in the day.

Do it in the morning, ideally, but you don't have to. You can do it

the next day or whatever. You can do it. You can do exciting things for

the next day or whatever, however you want to do it. But I was extremely

religious and I put quotations there for many, many years with that activity.

And I remember going and speaking to this group about it as an encouraging thing

that they could engage in to work on their attitude and perspective. Not that they

had a bad one, but they were asking me to help them with stress. And

this guy that was there, he said, after I talked about this activity and said

that I do it, he said, how often do you do that? And I said,

I do it every day. He said, do you really do it every day? And

I said, yeah. I mean, I don't think I've missed a day. I don't believe

I've missed a day in the last year. And I believe I said, I don't

think I've missed a day in the last two years. Because at that point I

had been doing it so consistently. I stopped, unfortunately, when I went through

some junk in my own life that I've talked about and stuff. But I

do it now. I mean, I've been doing it it religiously, quotes, you know, not

perfectionistically, but I really find it beneficial when I wake up to do that activity.

But the guy just grilled me and he wouldn't let go. And I got defensive.

I got like. I was, like, flustered. I'd never in an audience had somebody like

Question. I'm like, do you? I mean, I was thinking, you want me to show

you? I didn't bring my journal, but I'll show you. But, yes, I do it

every day. And I think back on that and think, why did I get defensive?

You know, someone was questioning me, and there was something going on inside of him

that he wasn't believing that someone could do that, that. And could really write

out that in their journal every morning. And I know it's hard at first, but

it didn't take me that long after doing it for so long. I mean, it

takes me probably 5 minutes, 10 minutes at the most, if I wanted to now.

But I should have asked questions. I could have asked questions. I could have asked

him with the audience there, which I've said. It seems

like you're really passionate about this. Can you tell me more what's going on? Or

what would you like to know about how I do it every day and

how I do it every day? And then I would have had some kind of

a dialogue rather than a monologue from him and me getting defensive. So it's

easy. And we can't prepare for every situation. But I will tell

you that a lot of the triggering situations in our lives, like 80% of them,

we can prepare for. And so some things that you can do to work on

this and to apply this fact that you have power over your response to others

is one is instead of reacting, you can validate their emotion, as

I wish I would have in this situation a decade ago or 12 years

ago. You can ask clarifying questions. So, for example, what are you.

If they're frustrated and everything, I can tell you're frustrated. What are you specifically frustrated

about? Or how can I make this right? Or can you give me an example?

So you choose to be calm, you choose to breathe, you

choose to relax to the best of your ability. Even though, like, when I got

in that little car accident, it was very hard to relax. But I was trying,

give myself credit, I was trying. I called buddies right afterwards. I did some things

that I would tell clients to do in that situation. But we can choose

to ask questions. We can choose to be curious. We can choose to respond

versus react. And the second thing you can do is you can be prepared because

you know that you have these people, places, and things that are triggering for you

in your life. So how are you going to prepare in advance when you know

you're triggered? For example, if you know you're triggered by people drinking, it's

probably not a great idea. To when you're depressed, to go

out to a bar with your friends and hang out when you're going

to be triggered potentially, you may say, can we go to another place? And

maybe they don't want to. And then you watch a movie at home. That can

be a very wise thing. Or you have people that say things, things

consistently, like a boss or a co worker or a family member that you know

baits you. And instead of taking the bait, you can have written out in your

journal a dialogue that you want to have. And it can be

questions, it can be how you're going to respond. It could be even telling him

that, I'm really not comfortable talking about this anymore. Or

can we talk at a different time when they bait you because you're already in

an emotional situation. Can we talk about this tomorrow? Or can we talk about this

later in the day? Because I really want to, want to get some time to

think this through. But that's an intentional planned

response. Sure, you never know when you're going to get an offender bender,

but even then you can write out how you would like to respond,

I guess, if you want to. Hopefully. You never get an offender bender.

I know, but that's the ideal thing. But you might. And if it happens,

you'll be more prepared if you follow this advice. So number

five, number four, this is the fourth fact is. So you have power over

the actions that you take.

You have power over the actions that you take. I remember in high school

that I was a very skinny kid. You know,

I played basketball and football in high school, but it wasn't until

the summer routine, my sophomore, my junior year, that I started to work out consistently

and I started to take these. It was called Gainer's Fuel. They're like power.

They're protein shakes. And I went from being about 180,

which to be being about 2:25, and I

worked out every day. I mean, I literally worked out

every day, I kid you not. And this was a religious type thing

for me. And I remember looking in the mirror saying, I can't believe it. You

know, my body is changing and I have power in this situation. And

I was in good shape. I was running, I was working out. And those

habits that I formed back then are still with me today. I don't work out

like I did then. I like the weight that I'm at, but. And I don't

eat as healthy as I did back then, honestly. But I like the

habits that I have when it comes to exercise and taking care of my Body,

which started back then, and it was friends I worked out with and they encouraged

me and supported me. But I saw that I had the ability even

when I didn't want to, I could still go work out. Even when it was

the last thing I wanted to do and wasn't excited about it, I could still

go work out, I could still drink those shakes, I could still eat healthy, I

could still keep my commitments to friends that I was meeting at the gym. And

it worked. It had a big impact on my life. So here's some things that

you can do in is first of all, you can

realize that your actions are your responsibility and

that there's no excuse outside of some

kind of crisis to make a commitment to yourself and not keep it.

And that crisis could be very, should be a very rare

type thing. So if you're making a commitment to working out in the morning, you're

making a commitment to drinking a certain amount of water, you're making a commitment to

getting up at a certain time or going to bed at a certain time, you're

keeping that commitment to yourself come hell or high water. And you're doing it consistently.

You do it seven days in a row. You're going to start feeling some power

in that situation. So you do it seven days in a row. You go to

bed at 10pm and you used to go into bed at 11:30 or 11, then

you're going to start feeling some power like I did and have in situations in

my life. And then I've made some things and done some things like sleeping in

and all this that I really still frustrate myself with even now.

But that power is going to come. And then once you start feeling that, you

realize it can translate and be passed on into other areas of your life. And

it's not being given away to, oh, I can't do that. Oh, I can't make

that change. Oh, I'll always be this way, whatever it may be. So a couple

things you can do to take back your power when it comes to you taking

action. So first thing is no snooze button. Try it. Make

a promise to yourself. I'm not going to hit the snooze button. So then you're

going to set your alarm when you want to wake up, and that's the time

and the only time that you get to wake up. So if you didn't have

a snooze button, you could turn it off on your iPhone. I would do it.

I'm looking for an alarm clock right now that doesn't have a snooze button, an

old fashioned alarm clock, and then I'll have to deal with the consequences if I

actually sleep in. I think that's a dangerous thing for me. So you do that

and you try that and you do it for, well, train. You train it, you

know, you train that training versus trying, of course. And try that for seven days.

Train for that for seven days. Second thing you can do is you can schedule

it so you have some things in your life that will keep you busy and

you know, they're really good things and you block them off into your schedule,

put them in there, plug them in and give yourself some margin so you're just

not back to back to back. So you can actually drive to that place and

not be late. You know, you give yourself some drive time, some rest time, some

time in between and everything. But you have a schedule. And then what you can

do too is you can create habits on top of that schedule

that if you have ever heard of the concept of habit stacking, it's, you know,

you do something and then you have a habit that you have created after you

do that. So when you get up at 5:45, then what your habit is,

is that you end up reading for 15 minutes

and then after you read for 15 minutes, you stack another habit on top of

that, which is you go and work out for 45 minutes and then you have

another habit after that, which is you take a shower after that and you have

your kind of this ideal morning routine that you place and it's habit

stacking, you know, or if it's after you brush your teeth, you encourage your

kids and your wife and you do it every day or you do it, you

know, I, for me it's really important if I'm going to start changing a

habit that I do it every day for a period of time to make it

something that sticks. So if I want to be more encouraging to my daughter, for

example, well, if you, if I decide that every day I'm going to say something

encouraging that's genuine, that's authentic, that's real, it's not

manufactured. But I'm going to be in that mode where I'm thinking about things that

I can point out to her that I really appreciate, admire or thankful for in

her life and that creates, starts creating habit for me, it's an action and it's

an action you can take. You can do those kinds of things. So let's go

ahead and recap. Fact number one, you have power over your

thoughts. Fact number two, you have power over your

emotions. Fact number three, you have power over your response to others.

And fact number four, you have power over the actions that you

take. Remember my rule 20% of transformational

change is insight. It's clarity that you gain. And

then 80% is action. So you get that clarity and insight and then it

propels you forward. But you still have to make a choice to go ahead and

make that change, to do something different. Insight is less important

than action. What from this podcast today resonates with you most

in the next 12 hours. Talk about a concept with somebody, teach it to somebody,

something that resonates naturally for you, and then take

an emotional risk based on what you have learned today in your own life. If

you love this episode, post a screenshot of the episode with you

listening to it on your Instagram, and then tag me

AdamGrag. Really appreciate it and I will respond.

As long as there's not like 500, I will respond to every one. So if

there's just 100, I'll respond to every one. Okay? That's my commitment right now on

this podcast. So have me out to speak live or over zoom. I love doing

things all over the world world and love my team to engage with you

as well. So you can hire me or one of my other certified legacy coaches

to work with you and it could be working with you on this stuff, on

giving your power away. So I'm going to sign off today the way that I

always do. Make it your mission to live the life now, today

that you want to be remembered for 10 years after you're gone. You

decide your legacy, no one else. I appreciate

you greatly and I'll see you next time.