I have this strange thing that happens, and it's happened five times in the last

few months. And it's my phone. I will butt dial my friend

Don. And then. And I've done it a number of different

times. And then he'll call me, you know, because he'll see the call and I'll

say to him, and I want to lie and say, like, yeah, I tried to

call you, Don, but I really hadn't. But then I'll just tell him I butt

dialed them and we'll talk and everything. But then I think, gosh, you know, what

is going on? Like, okay, so maybe I need to

talk to Don and have a longer conversation. So I actually talked to him last

night for a while, and he said something that was interesting. He.

He's a retired. He's 80. He's going to be 80 in a

few months, actually, I think January. But he, he was saying, you have a great

job, Adam. You know, like, you really get to impact people. And he's a retired

school administrator. And I hear that from people sometimes that say,

like, with envy, like, what you get to do is really change

people's lives. And I think of that and I think, well,

Don, you got to change people's lives too, you know, and he,

he's been retired for a number of years, I think 15 plus years,

a long time. And it reminded me of how I hear from clients

frequently that, you know, I'm not happy with my job, I'm

not happy with my career, or I've spent all this energy and for what?

Today we're going to talk about balance. There's a lot at stake with this, but

how to live with a sense of balance. And I think it's misunderstood. It gets

a bad rap. I am by no means advocating perfection

with balance. But there are some things, some actions we can take that can

make a big difference when it comes to our careers, our lives. So that we,

at the age of 80. And I'm not saying Daw doesn't feel good about his

life, but we feel like, hey, we. We had a

huge impact. You know, we can be happy, more happy with

our lives and how we're living our lives. So. Welcome to the Decide youe Legacy

podcast. Told you about the topic. I'm Adam Gragg. I

founded Decide youe Legacy in 2012.

And our purpose is to help people live with courage to make the

decisions that are gonna change their life and impact the lives of others. And it's

all about other people having a big impact and to do the stuff

to take action. This podcast is practical. What we're going to

discuss today are tools that can help you right away if you apply them. This

is stuff that comes out of 25 plus years as being a family therapist.

And I have two special guests here today, Kelsey Torkelson and Sherman

Orr. And they're going to chime in. They're both legacy coaches at

Decide your legacy. They have a huge impact and they're going to share from their

perspective on this topic as well. So I have a big struggle

here, and I want Kelsey and Sherman to jump in and share, and

they're going to kind of, kind of jump in. We're all going to talk about

the topic together, so jump on in. And I mean, my. My struggle with balance

is I just get all consumed. So I kind of do subscribe to this. Like,

work harder. You're going to have the results you want. Just keep working, keep working.

So I can go and go and go and push and push. And I can

do it way too. I can push way too long, like hours and hours sometimes.

And then in my mind, I'll justify it and say, well, that's what other people

do who really achieve. But it's not healthy. It's not good.

No, it's the same thing. In my own life. There's a couple of hobbies that

I've gotten into and just turned my whole life in on.

Let's say, like, bow hunting was one of them. That just consumed me.

Everything. Reading everything about it, doing everything, and then came to realize I wasn't

reading anything, I wasn't exercising anymore, and I

was like, darn, this is way out of whack. There's something that's got to change

here somewhere along the line. Yeah. And that's kind of how, you know, whether you're

out of balance because you're getting all consumed. It can be a good thing, but

you're all consumed by it. And I have that all or nothing mentality for sure.

And that's what you find is too, that people that struggle with lack of balance,

like, they can get just sucked in, you know, like, yeah, I'm

all in. Give. Don't even talk to me for a week, you know, or whatever

it is, you know, so it's a big deal. So, Kelsey, how about you? What's

the struggle here? Yes, I struggle with the balance. And I have

been in a funk lately, and I didn't realize what it was.

And I did the little tree thing and I saw that

I was not in. In balance. And I was avoiding some

of the areas and I needed to focus more on those struggle. Yeah. And that's

the. We have this decide. Your legacy tree represents seven different

life areas. Spiritual, friends, family, health, intellectual.

Yes. Yeah. And career, money,

social and fun. You know, and if you neglect any of those areas, that can

be. Can be a problem long term. Not. Not saying short term. I mean,

it could be. Okay. Yeah. I was lacking the social

and fun and the intellectual, those two things. Isn't that a big one?

That's something. So you're reading more now. Did it remind you to do some things

differently in your life? Yeah. Yes. Now I'm reading more, putting my phone down,

listening to my own advice. Okay. Which Kelsey does say to me

sometimes, like, what advice would you give to a client here? And then I realize

I'm not actually taking it. And that's really encouraging to

me to think that I already have the tools. Yes. I'm just not

applying them. I'm not having to search for that next thing. It's actually

already there. I just don't want to apply it. Right.

So. And you know the cool thing, something about balance, too, is when we get

off balance, we are engaging in something that's leading to an

escape. That's. That's really an indication for me. So that

lack of balance really can point me back to. What am I not dealing

with here? Something hard. Something hard

and tricky, but

big deal. So we got three actions you can take to actually

adjust your life to add more balance. And the first of those

actions is to find some level of purpose in your life. So I hear this

envy of my career, and other people do as well. You can look at certain

things. I think if somebody is in a job, like, they're a doctor, they're a

therapist, they're a pastor, they're a helper.

Okay. We can look and say, well, you're. What they're saying is you're having direct

impact on people's lives. So I had a pilot

friend tell me recently that he felt like he didn't have

nearly as much impact as other careers. And I'm thinking.

And he doesn't dislike his career. I mean, it wasn't somebody that didn't like being

a pilot, but he didn't realize that, well, everyone's lives in his

hands when he's flying. Well, I mean, there's. There's a lot of purpose to that

for me, an outsider. But he was saying, I don't get enough direct contact with

people. So if you're going to find a Way to add. You can

find ways to add purpose to your life. And so in this situation, it's how

can you have more contact in a way where you're feeling like you're having an

impact and with some tweaks that can be made, you don't have to step out

of your job and say, I'm not going to work there, but you're adjusting it

in your approach to add purpose to it. I

think great activity that I love people to go through is to think about their

lives and to step back from their lives and go back to when they were

a little kid and to say where. What are those moments

where. Where I felt on purpose, I was

living, I had energy, I felt inspired.

I didn't have to like begrudgingly go to work or didn't have

to just dread certain aspects of my life, but I was

excited about it. And how can I tweak my life now,

currently? Because I would suggest that you don't need to make any radical changes to

have this. How can I make some adjustments in my perspective and how I'm viewing

it that can add purpose to my life and then it

can change. It can be that you were a hard charging, boss

driving CEO guy. And then you shift to saying, I'm a hard

charging, driving CEO boss who's going to impact people in all my.

Interactions that makes the difference is how you're impacting

other people. I think about myself, we're going from 2,000

people every weekend or whatnot to just a very small circle of

people around me now. And I thought about that. It was like, gosh,

am I really going to impact anybody anymore in a big

way? And the thing is, not the number doesn't

count. What counts is the people I do impact. And so I have a next

door neighbor who works her tail off. And

I said, she's going to be my special purpose in

this neighborhood. And so I mow her grass,

I bring her over some hams that I get from time to time.

Yeah. And all that stuff. And it's like when I drive by, she

waves at me every time with a big smile because I'm helping her.

I'm making a big impact on her. Life and it changes everything. It's so,

such a big deal. So even doing. If you're doing a podcast and

you're realizing that I can help somebody here, maybe, you know,

maybe I can help somebody with what we share. Yeah. And that changes the way

that I would have approached doing this. It's actually I

can feel the energy When I think of helping somebody else versus just helping

myself or impressing myself. And I mean, not impressing, but

impressing other people. Yes, that's huge deal. When we help

other people, it helps us in return. You know,

I feel that way. Yeah. When I'm helping other people, it gets me

outside of myself and it makes me focus on other problems besides

my own problems. Yeah, it's huge. And it's right there

in our midst. It's amazing how we can go and think we got to find

something else that's outside of us or that somewhere external

that. And then I'm going to be okay, so. But in our midst, we

have opportunities to impact people all the time. Right. Like that pilot has

people all the time. But he was not thinking and focusing on it the

way he could and wanted to. And after discussion, hopefully that will be the case.

But I don't know. I mean. So you can find

it right there. You've probably heard of that story, Acres of Diamonds where

old. This is a speech that was given. You can look it up and kind

of read through this presentation. It's on a topic called Acres of Diamonds. And I

forget the author of this presentation, but it was really

famous and you can read it about and everything. And so the guy. I don't

know the story exactly. I've actually never really read it or listened to it, but

I've just been heard. I've heard stories on it. But basically it's like the

guy leaves his hometown and goes to a foreign country and he's. He's looking for

diamonds because he was told that he would find this in this other area. And

then it turns out that he went and searched and was it looked

everywhere for this and then finds out later that he was actually living

on a diamond mined like he was. It was right there. So. But he

searched for it everywhere else. But then he was right there. He didn't look.

We're not looking for the opportunities. And you can find that. That's going to give

you purpose. And how does this relate to balance, though? That's the question. I mean,

if you have. If you have purpose in your life,

you tell me, how does that add balance to your life? It's kind of confusing.

If you have purpose in your life, it takes you away from

all of your problems and your goals. And it helps you

see life as a whole and how not everything revolves

around us and our problems. And it helps you to see that

in order to have a full life, you need to hit

all these areas of your life. And one of those is serving and

helping others. So it pulls you out of being consumed by one part of your

life because you have purpose, and it leads you into being more

balanced so that you can better execute

on that purpose. Right? Yes. Okay, exactly. I would say that's

exactly right. It's. It's not about. I have one purpose.

It's a purpose that guides all the different points of the

Decide your legacy tree. All right. That's pretty cool. Yeah.

So let's go on to the second point here. So, second big idea,

kind of big wig kind of thing. But it's just surrender. It's like,

well, how do we surrender? I mean, like, surrender is kind of confusing. I don't

know. You've. You've been in ministry for so long. Sherman, what does it mean to

surrender in a spiritual sense? In a spiritual sense, it would be

letting your own control and rigidity

in a certain situation and go by the wayside and

surrender to God's will, which is

love and living in that kind of

life. It's. It's really about fighting

that rigidity and control that people have. So you just surrender to

God and say, let it be and it will be. And so how does

surrender. How does it relate to life balance

then? I mean, I'll chime in with that too, because I think I'm

getting off track here a little bit. But what I find with people that are

out of balance is they have this sense of. They view the world in black

and white terms. You know, it's rigid. It's rigid. So the cardinal trait of all

mental illness. This is a famous quote, and I don't really know who said it,

but I know it's been quoted, probably referenced to a number of different people in

the psychology field, but is that, you know, the cardinal trait of

all mental illness is rigidity? I definitely see truth to that. We get so

stuck in one way and there's no flexibility. And our expectations are being blown away

all the time because we're rigid and we're not seeing that we can actually

adjust and grow. And we just. We get strength when we grow and

we're flexible. It doesn't mean we don't have structure, because we need that too. But

they view the world in black and white, perfectionistic, all or nothing, success or failure,

polarizing fashion. And there's more on this we're going to talk about. But. And this

other aspect that I see that really goes counter to

surrender, because it's surrender is the rigidity leads to

control surrender. So I'M going to focus my energy on what I can.

The things that are within

that I can't control. I'm putting a lot of energy into things I can't really

do anything about. Right. Causes a huge problem. Yeah,

that's probably the number one problem in relationships today

and throughout our world, really today. But trying to control

things that you can't control. And that's one of the things

I spent basically a lot of my ministry on is trying to remind

people, guess what? You can't control

the other person. One person you can control is

yourself. And in some respects, that goes kind of back to that. Surrender

and anti. Rigidity is like, gosh,

we'll always be frustrated if we're not willing to kind of

let things flow. And so an illustration of this, and I do this with

clients a lot, is just grab something that you're holding right now. Like I'll have

them grab in my office a dry erase marker. And I'll say, just

stick your hand out with the dry erase marker and now let it go. All

right. And so this. And I'll say it'll represent something that they're trying to control.

So, so you just. This is their. Maybe they're. They're fixating on one

of their kids or they're fixating on their job, or they're fixating on

their health and a problem with their health or something. Okay, and so let it

go. And then. Okay, so you just let go and you surrendered that.

That worry. Okay, so, so, so now just leave it there. You

know, just leave it there. And they look at it and I can always generally

see that they want to pick it up because people aren't necessarily comfortable just having

a pen just lying on the ground. There's something that small, but you don't

have to pick it up. You know, you really don't have to pick up that

worry. And we don't even think that we can. We don't even think that we

can stop it. And you really can't stop it

in the sense that you think that you can stop it, you can replace it,

you can try to stop it. But it's going to be. It's like saying you.

You're going to force yourself not to think something. You can definitely replace it, though.

You can replace it by getting your energy focused onto something else. That's a form

of surrender. It's like, if we're going to fixate on something, we decide to say,

well, I'm still going to go to the gym here. I'm still Going to read

a book even though I don't want to. And you're doing it. That's a form

of surrender because you are. You're equating control to doing that activity.

The more I do it, I'm going to find more control in my life, but

I'm not going to actually do it because I know it's not the next best

right thing. And again, it's going back to what you

say. It's a well balanced life throughout the whole of your

life, the whole tree, not just one thing. And

your relationships especially. No. And so we have this thing too.

We talk about seven up on a scale one to ten, it's okay to be

a seven, it's okay to be. It's fine to be a

seven. In fact, we want to strive to be a seven. We want to strive

to not have to be perfect is what we're saying here. I try

that and then I try to tell myself this doesn't pertain to me,

I have to be perfect. But then I go back to, you know, nope, it

pertains to me too because I struggle with the perfectionistic. Or it

doesn't pertain to this situation. Right? This situation.

Yeah. This is special. Oh boy. Yeah. That's pretty,

pretty consuming. Yeah. But so activity

practical, something you can do. I encourage you to try this. Very simple,

very powerful. As you write down what you're worried about, you

identify what it is. You're very specific on it. I'm afraid this thing's going to

happen. I'm afraid it's not going to. The meeting's not going to go well. My

health is going to fall apart, my parents are going to die, we're going

to lose our home in a tornado. I don't care what it is you think

about it. People do think that and worry about that kind of stuff in Kansas.

They do. And I guess they have reason. It's possible. It's not likely, but

it is possible. Then you go ahead and draw a line down the middle and

you write down can influence and then can't influence.

So on one side of that sheet of paper you're writing everything related to that

worry that you really have no control over. And then be specific.

You know, specificity helps with, helps decrease anxiety.

Right. Because you're looking at really clarity right there. It's not ambiguous

anymore. So if you were afraid your house is going to be blown away by

a tornado, you write down maybe some statistics on, you know, these

are the statistics. That's a fact. I can't Control that, you know, statistics are X,

Y and Z. You, maybe you write down the fact that you. It's a

fact that some people have had their homes destroyed by tornadoes.

It's a fact that tornadoes do exist in Kansas, where

we're doing this podcast. It's a fact that tornadoes are dangerous. So you just write

that down. Look at it. You may think that's going to make you more afraid,

but it's actually not. It's actually not because it's going to start giving you perspective.

Then you write down on the other side what you can influence related to this

worry. And the things you can influence are stuff you can do to

have some level of impact on the

situation. And you can't change the weather. Nobody can change the weather.

But what can you do? Well, you can make sure you

have a plan if the weather got really bad. Like, you can listen to the

tornado sirens. You can go in your basement. You can talk to

your kids about what to do if there's bad weather. You can go to

Florida in the middle of the tornado season. You can do these things. So that's

also been. That'll give you a sense. I wouldn't recommend that one because it doesn't

really change. Avoiding. Yeah, I wouldn't recommend it. There's a lot of

love behind that because maybe you're just driving into a hurricane.

Worse. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, there's no. And in fact, you know, don't look

at those statistics and you'll be like, well, you're more likely to be in a

hurricane than it is. That's the funny part about it, because it's like you go

and avoid problems and you're just adding different problems. If that. That's why it's

never good to run, because you're just adding more and you're actually not adding evidence

you can handle a problem. You're taking away evidence you can handle a problem. Whole

nother podcast right there. But that's a level of control that we're letting and choosing

to let go of. So what helps you to let go of control? Kelsey and

Sherman. To surrender, to realize

I don't have any control, really, as much as I like to think about it.

And I focus on what I can control. And a lot of that has to

do with my tiny rituals throughout the day that I know that I can

lean back on. And if at least I'm doing these certain things, then

I feel like my life is going to be okay. Yeah, that's pretty cool.

Yeah. I would say, actually that in

my Previous profession and such

rigidity was very helpful in getting

things accomplished. But at the same time, everything being black and white,

you come to realize, especially as you get a little bit older, that

there are shades of gray, as the famous song says. And so

being able to talk to myself and say, you know what?

It's not all black and white. Even though everybody out there in the world and

news and stuff want to say everything's black and white, I'm like,

no, there's shades of gray in my own life, and I'm sure there's shades of

grays in everybody's life. And so that's able. That helps me

avoid that rigidity that comes about just naturally with a

lot of people. And then whenever I am rigid, I realize that

I'm not happy. You know, like whenever you're trying to control

everything by controlling the things around you,

I'm just miserable. Yeah, that's a big deal. You can identify it

better in the moment that I'm causing my own misery here. Yeah. Why can't

people always identify they're making themselves miserable? Because that's such a powerful thing if you

can really identify it. It's like, yeah, self

reflection. Yeah, self reflection avail us much. I

mean, so, yeah, it's. You mentioned about aging and everything. So

I have another buddy outside of dawn. Don's almost 80, but I have another friend,

Joe, who is 83 or 84. And yesterday,

the last time we met, not yesterday, but it was last Wednesday,

he was telling me that he's really interested in coloring mandalas. You know what

mandalas are? I like doing that too, so. And I look at that and I

say, man, Joe, you've gotten a lot more flexible over the years. Because

Joe, I would say, is more of a hard

charger guy. I mean, he's kind of like an uberman masculine guy in

a way. Like, in some ways. In some ways he's not. Never has been in

my sense, but in some ways he. He is. And so I'm like, wow, that's

pretty cool. And he's not making fun of his wife anymore for liking it, because

that's where he got exposed to that. And I thought he had a sense of

excitement with it and thinking that's really healthy. Because

there's all kinds of benefits to doing that. You're channeling energy and you're coloring, and

there's a whole bunch of stuff that's kind of cool with that, like, artistic stuff.

It lowers your screen time because you're not looking at your screen too while you're

doing it. Absolutely. Yeah, for sure. Unless you're doing it on your iPad.

Well, then you can probably do that. And I wouldn't knock that cuz it. Okay.

Maybe that would be an exclusionary screen activity. I

don't know. Yeah, I don't know. You'd still get in trouble with Kelsey. Yes. So

if you found this podcast helpful, check out Shatterproof Yourself Light. Now this is

a great course that we put together that walks you through seven

steps to more self confidence, to a giant leap in

your life, to taking and making changes. And it's a free course

that you take, takes you about 25 minutes to go through it. And there's a

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and it gives you seven practical actions that you can take today

to make a big change in your life. So you want to check that out,

Hit the link. You can always access it off our website. It's called

Chatterproof Yourself Light. Check that out. So the third

big one here, we talked about surrender. We talked about finding

purpose. How do those relate to life balance? Well, I mean, when you surrender, you're

actually being able to surrender, go into different areas of your life that you're

neglecting. When you're finding purpose, you're having motivation to stay balanced because it's a

big deal. It's like experiences. We're going to get more experiences that are

going to change people's lives. We're making the most of the job we have because

we're finding a purpose in it. And you can do that. So the third action

you can take is to set goals, to find focus, to add

structure. And when you find focus and add structure, then you're going to be able

to be willing to make the hard shifts. It's like you're able to say

no to one area and yes to another area because that doesn't align with your

values, values and your vision and the goals that you've said. And you're able to

say no and keep your no. You're able to say yes and keep your yes

because it's big picture. It's big. And so that purpose is going to drive you

there. And so this may seem a little bit off when it comes to your

focus when it comes to life balance. But I would suggest that it's going to

actually put you in a position where you have better focus when you're setting the

right goals. And I'm saying you could set the wrong goal. You could say, my

goal is to be a Scratch golfer in the next year and every waking hour

that I'm not working, I'm going to play golf. I would not suggest that.

Unless you're going to be on the PGA Tour. I would not suggest. And you're

single and you're not, you know, don't have kids, you're neglecting. That would be a

very bad goal. But the right goals, which I would suggest that you're going to

set the right goals from a place of energy and excitement and purpose, and they're

going to be the. They're going to resonate with other people. Your monkeys, I call

them, who really love you and care about you. They're going to say, that's a

great goal. I mean, really support that goal. Or your monkeys are going to say,

dude, don't do that. Because that's really off balance. Right. I'm ever

mindful. So I got into roses a while back and started

planting them. Well, I noticed that some of my roses

did absolutely nothing. And the whole reason

I found out a little later on is that they were climbing roses

and they had no trellis, no structure to go up. So they never

really flowered, never did anything. And I'm ever mindful of that in this

whole idea about setting goals and finding structure and

a focus. Because what that does is it does help you bloom. It

helps you actually grow and reach new goals.

But if you don't have. Or reach new heights, really. But if you don't have

those goals, if you don't have the structure, then a lot of times you're just

going to flounder from thing to thing to thing. You can't just plant the roses

and expect them to just do all the work. You have to do some work.

Right. Well, what is that all about? It doesn't seem fair that you got to

actually have the right structure for the rose. Just plant the

stinking seeds. Well, because it goes back to another

thing I always say is there's a difference between the wilderness and a

garden is the work you put into it. And so

that's what makes the difference between our lives. The work you put

into it, the goals you set, the focus that helps it

change from the wilderness with kaka burrs and all

those other things to a beautiful place that everybody enjoys

or feeds the world. Yeah. When you see people living a

life that you admire because they have rich friendships,

they have things that they are passionate about, it

doesn't happen accidental. That stuff happens with intentionality because

they have to put it in the calendar and they plan it Just like I

know every Wednesday where I'm going to be Wednesday night. It's intentional and it's like

nothing gets in the way unless I happen to be out of town or sick.

And so you have to have a structure because the structure

helps you to focus on a life that matters. So

how. Practically speaking, adding structure is

not my strength. Well, it's not my strength, but practically speaking,

it is essential to having balance. You will not

do it unless you plan it, unless you put it in there. It'll be emotional

and you'll be pulled into whatever is the urgent and

it becomes a tyrannical driver of your life, the tyranny of the

urgent. And so just start by identifying

when are you going to get up, when are you going to go to bed?

And then say, I would say, like, what are you going to do with those

first morning hours? Are you going to take your kids to school? Are you going

to hang out with them? Are you going to make breakfast? Are you going to

go have coffee with your friends? Are there certain things, tasks and

everything that you want to get done and you commit. And then when will you

end your workday? When are you going to work in physical

activity? A walk. And every 15 minutes counts. But you don't have

to plan it that rigidly. I would suggest time blocking, which means

you have an hour for something, and maybe you're only spending, spending less than

that. But you have this in your schedule and you get anticipated, you get excited,

and it's telling, it's putting a no in there. It's like, it's

almost like if you have a job and you're working your job and you have

set hours, which I'm a fan of actually for myself,

then I know that these certain activities I can't

do. It doesn't matter how I feel. It just means that I've made a commitment,

that people are counting on me, that I can go in, you know, and that's

not how everybody functions all the time. But if I put in a workout,

if I put a bedtime in there, then I'm taking it seriously and I need

a lot of help there. I mean, I do because I still, even with that,

I still get drug into. I don't feel like it, I don't feel

like it. I'd rather do this, I'd rather do that, or I'd say that, okay,

this is more important. And it's something else that's not. Not really as important.

People say that a lot to me about. Because I like to work

out and they're like, I don't know how you do that. I just never feel

like it. You know how many times I feel like working out? Zero.

None. But you know how I feel afterwards? Amazing. You feel good. Yeah.

So that's why we take this. That's been such a big deal for me in

my life, and I don't. I do consistently work out, but I just

haven't. And I. I would neglect to. I. I

don't always remember how much of an

impact that phys. That physical aspect of my life has

on my mental health and has on the decisions that I make and has on

the processing that I do. And I can get. I would say, though, I can

get into a place where I get more excited about it. Yeah.

I mean, there are moments, but for the most part, it's not like I'm like,

oh, yay. Oh, yay. Yeah, gonna go work out. But, oh,

man, it's such a big deal. Yeah. So very good. So

you add structure and focus to your life, and so you have big goals and

you focus on those big goals. I'd suggest you get some. Put some energy into

setting those for 20, 26. What are you going to do? What are you going

to accomplish? How are you going to get there? And you use your filters to

get there. So what is it for you, Sherman, that helps you

when it comes to schedule and structure your day?

What would you give as advice? I just go back. I've been

having a structured life pretty much for most of my

time is because I saw how people wasted their time, and I just

didn't want to waste my time, especially when I think back.

And so I put a schedule into effect. Even in high school and

college, I never did anything. I hardly worked at all in high school,

didn't pay attention. And then I thought, gosh, if I want to go somewhere in

life, I'm going to have to do some study and whatnot. And so I got

a schedule together, and I've really pretty much kept that my whole life.

So in one way or another, I've been just very scheduled.

And so that's. And I think it's helpful. That's when. And then there's some days

when I, like, I know Saturdays are my day when I have nothing scheduled.

I have a few things I want to get crossed off my list, but when

those get done, if it's at 12 noon or 7pm I

don't really care. Okay. Well, it seems you've mentioned a

number of times that you want to exercise more. Yes, so

if you had it planned in your schedule, what

is the likelihood that you wouldn't do?

Would be better. It would be better. You could still talk yourself out of it,

though. Oh, probably. Okay. I'm a really good talker. Okay,

so. Well, that's interesting. I got to work

on it. It's. Yeah, I'm willing to work on it. I'll get there. You'll get

there. Okay, well, so we got three points there. And

I will say that. That have you guys

experienced and seen. And maybe it's like,

what are some of the things. What are some of the negative impacts that a

lack of balance actually has?

Well, I think you would find that

you probably have bad relationships. There'll be

something off in your whole balance of your life, whether it's

physical, mental, spiritual, emotional,

relational, and

becomes, I think, obvious to those who can just watch you for a while, to

friends, to spouses, to co workers. And they can see

it. Yeah, I think the relationships is where you

can see the lack of balance the most, because I feel like that

is what we put on the back burner because we feel like they're not important

because they're not productive. But really, there's so

much that is the one. Yes. I mean, you're

not going to lay on your bed and you're not going to think, oh, I

wish I would have worked more. You're going to be like, oh, I wish I

would have hung out with my friends more. I wish I would have. Yeah, yeah,

yeah, big deal. Yep. So, and I mean, you get

this a lot at stake here. You know, relationships, marriages,

friendships, big stuff, health, all kinds of stuff. So

in. In summary, just kind of running through this again. So big. I. Three big

ideas, big actions to take for you to live with

more balance. So find purpose, cultivate purpose in your

job and your family and your life. Find ways to

estab, to surrender and let go, which is going to be a risk. It's going

to be scary. And then set goals, get a focus, set a

schedule. So there you have it. If you found this podcast

helpful again, check out Shatterproof Yourself Light and you'll

make my day. If you subscribe, leave a rating and review Apple Pod, Apple

Podcast, or Spotify somewhere. Spread it and

tell a friend. No, tell somebody like, you know, you're really. You're really

not balanced and you need to listen to this podcast. I mean, don't. Don't do

that. I'm just kidding. But to decide means you're eliminating other options. Your legacy

is the impact your life has has on other people. There's no positive

change until you take an action. You decide to change. So think

of something today in this Pocket podcast episode that you're going to apply. And by

the end of the day today, I'd encourage you to teach it to somebody and

take action and. Or take action and don't teach it to somebody, but do

something with it. Take action, do something with it. So I want to close the

way I always do. Live the life that you want to be remembered for 10

years after you're gone, you decide your legacy, nobody else.

I appreciate you greatly, and I'll see you next time.