#38: Motivation in the Workplace (w/ Nevada Raitt)

Got a special episode this time as I discuss motivation in the workplace with Nevada Raitt. We discuss building effective teams and creating meaningful connections so that an organization can thrive. And don't forget to sign up for Tune Up For Life!

Adam Gragg: [00:00:00] Welcome to the Decide Your Legacy podcast. I'm your host, Adam Gragg. Really appreciate you tuning in today. If you haven't already done so, and you love this podcast, please subscribe on Spotify or Apple, wherever you get your podcasts. If you found it helpful, give it a review.

Yeah, really helps it to grow because that's how it grows organically.

I don't have any major sponsors. I need your help. It has been growing and it's because of you. And so just take 15 seconds, pull your phone and get that done. So the topic today is one I'm really excited about it's on employee motivation and this week is in fact, this month I found out is mental health awareness month for the workplace, I believe.

So, it's a great topic because mental health and employee motivation are highly connected. As I start off with every podcast, at least the ones recently, I like to share about a couple risks I've recently taken and how those actually turned out. So I was actually at a coffee shop last week and a guy was dressed really sharp.

And so I just out of the blue said, Hey, you look like you're about to make some money. You look good. You look like you're about to make some money. And he kind of was really excited about that comment, but he was friendly. I mean, and I realized that actually knew his parents and everything, but he didn't seem really excited about his job.

And then we went to talk and it kind of opened up a conversation about really this subject, about being motivated. And he works for a big employer and, in Kansas. And I think there's a lot of people that are out there. Are in jobs that may look good on the surface, but they're not actually happy.

They're not motivated. They're not passionate. I really don't know if he is or is not. It may have been just ended up that kind of a morning, but I was amazed by how receptive he was. I mean, it was something that I wouldn't normally actually do, but I have been doing more of that lately. And so in other risks that I took is it's just simply, I'm at a point in my career at times where I want to work and produce and create new things.

And. I like creating new products and podcasts and just, I like work. I mean, work is productive for me. I also know that I have to step away from work. And so I went on a camping trip this past weekend with my daughter and a buddy and his kids and his wife. And we do these things quite a bit. In fact, we've probably done 15 of them over since our little girls were probably three, two or three, but I know this weekend was really hard to step away.

I didn't really want to. And I started to get sucked into this. I'm not being productive thing. And I ended up being a very productive weekend because of the memories that we made, the things we got to do. We got to go to this place called the, the tall grass Prairie national preserve, which is 80,000 acres, there's buffalo. It's kind of cool. And you know, as you've listened to me, I'm a Californian who's lived in Kansas for twenty-five years. So hey, don't make fun of Kansas. This is a great place to go.

Again, I'm Adam Gragg and I'm your host and I'm a life coach and mental health professional I've been doing.

I've been in the mental health profession for, I think I'm getting close to 23, 24 years. So I have been doing that for a long time, and I've also been doing coaching corporately and speaking for about 15 years. And there's a lot of crossover because I bring mental health into the workplace and my life purpose is to help people find transformational clarity so they can overcome their biggest fears and live and leave the legacy that they desire. I also like to talk about stuff in a way that you could share with your six year old. And they're going to understand what you're talking about. Some basic concepts that are life transforming as well. For example, last week I talked about self-sabotage and one way that people self-sabotage is they become very perfectionistic and they become very perfectionistic and every task that they actually engage in and that can sabotage because their standards are so high, they're going to just give up before they even try. And the statement on that is, you know, some is better than none and done is better than perfect. We have to go out and you can explain that to a six year old.

And they're going to understand that I can take small steps. In the right direction. Also a way people sabotage is by engaging in toxic relationships consistently, and they keep kind of going back to what they're comfortable with. And maybe that's because of their childhood. Maybe that's because of the way they were raised.

But a six year old can understand that, Hey, there's a temptation to go and take the path of least resistance and to go and [00:05:00] engage people who are probably going to accept you on the surface initially. But it's not the best healthiest relationships that we can actually build. Simple practical stuff. I also discuss things that I struggle with myself.

I'm a fellow traveler, I'm a fellow traveler. I struggle with self-worth issues. I struggle with anxiety. I struggle with really every topic that I discuss and the one thing that I'm super excited about today as I have, I have my friend Nevada here with. And you're going to have to pronounce your last name, Nevada.

Nevada Raitt: It's a Raitt.

Adam Gragg: Raitt.

Nevada Raitt: Bonnie Raitt,

Adam Gragg: Just like Bonnie Raitt.

Nevada Raitt: Anybody that knows Bonnie Raitt, it's been awhile.

Adam Gragg: Cool. Well, Nevada reached out to me. Oh boy. It's probably a year and a half ago and he has this dream. He's had a very successful career as it is. He's a CPA. He. He works, helps lots of businesses and he has his own business and he has had this vision and dream of starting and growing his business from the ground up with wellness at the forefront wellness, even ahead of profit. Wellness ahead of anything else.

So it's corporate mental health, his health of his team, the relationships from the very get-go foundationally. And so I've had the privilege of walking with him as he builds this business and moving. In the right direction, which I fully believe he is and how he's doing that in the steps he's taken. I'm going to ask him questions about this today.

We're going to discuss this topic. How do we build from the ground up a healthy workplace? This is going to be a dialogue type podcast. It might be a little bit longer. It might not be, who knows, but I just want to start out by just saying, Hey, what has caused you to have this dream of just starting with wellness at the forefront?

Nevada Raitt: Well, I mean, we know this podcast is going to go along cause you asked me my opinion and give me a microphone. So it was, it could be a little bit of a long podcast, but we'll go ahead and get into it a little bit in the dream everywhere I've been. And every place, every step along the lines I've always had, where it seemed like the workers themselves wanted to do such great work and it didn't necessarily mesh with what, the way the management was trying to do. And I just wonder how much, when you put a good team together, And give them the way to be able to give them the motivation and the the abilities and the functionalities to become a great team and do great things where they could go. So that's when I turned around and said, let's focus on getting the right motivation, giving him the right tools and every facet between pay and set up and work and everything like that.

And let's see where that team can lead us.

Adam Gragg: And what is the, what kind of experiences have you had? Professionally that have led you to having this kind of passion?

Nevada Raitt: Well, I had a lot of really close knit work groups. So we had a lot of small companies that we worked together in. So we were doing more like, you know, 10 person team groups that were doing a lot of impressive stuff.

So I worked for a one company that did that. I worked for another company that was, a. we had over 150 employees and multiple different locations and states and everything and having to deal with the connections and the communications of people in a remote. type. And how would you handle that? And what would be the things that you would come back and forth on those types of things.

And each step along the way I kind of was always just making mental notes. of, wow. This worked really good. while Really? This worked really bad. And what can we learn from that? What can we change, you know, to make it work better for them? What are things that would be important? If I was sitting in their shoes, what would.

Okay. And I got to read kind of in between the lines there that you've seen and had even some personal experiences where haven't had the best experience professionally.

Oh, no, no. I mean, we don't learn from success. We only learn from our failures. I mean, in a way, so I mean, you can only sit back and say, wow, I didn't do that very well.

What do I need to learn to go forward? So I'm sure if there was somebody that worked for me or with me that, you know, may have been like, he didn't handle that very well. I'm like, you're probably. right. But I need to learn from that and find a better way so I can get the best out of the people that I had around me.

Adam Gragg: Yeah. And that's something we have these negative experiences and then we can grow and learn. But what I have found is people primarily focus on the pain and they don't focus on the gain. Now, if you can make that shift to focus it on the gain, people focus on what could go wrong at a much higher level than they do working.

And that's really one of the difference between a mentally healthy person and an unhealthy person is they have disciplined themselves to focus on how they're growing, what can go, right? The vision, the future. And I find that healthy companies actually do the same thing. They keep that at the forefront.

Nevada Raitt: Well, me and you've talked a lot about that. I mean, we could sit there every single night and we think about the two or three things that we may not have done. Perfect. During that day, we forget about the 20, 30, 50 right. Things we did all throughout. the day.

Adam Gragg: And we don't remember those things or keep them on our mind in this we're intentional.

So you can do, I mean, something as simple as at the end of the day, write down three things that you learned during that day that were positive, you know, three, three lessons you learned that you experienced. And as we go, [00:10:00] what I'm going to do is talk to you about. Three big areas that if you want to motivate your employees and you want to create a positive work culture, this is what I have seen work in.

My background comes from not only being a, just being a family therapist, working with thousands of families, but also working with hundreds of companies. So they've hired me as a. Someone to come in and actually work with teams and build teams and I've taken and made the parallel that, Hey, there's so many different similarities between healthy families and healthy companies that we can't ignore this.

And we have to learn from this. And I think that's going to come out quite a bit in this podcast today. So one of those, one of the things that I find that healthy companies, and I've really seen this with Nevada. Very beginning is healthy companies, foster connection between their employees. And sometimes people poopoo this idea like, well, you know, we're here to make a profit.

It's not about relationships. It's not about connection, but I'm telling you it has to be. It's so incredibly important that that is a priority. And I think for one, I mean, I've seen companies that do things as extreme as take all their employees. I mean, a dental office takes all their employees to Hawaii on a trip and has done that.

Multiple occasions. I've seen companies give huge bonuses that aren't nearly as motivating as those vacations, where they connect. I mean, huge bonuses to employees, but the connection piece. So Nevada, what is it in your opinion that makes a worst workplace unhealthy?

Nevada Raitt: Well, this might be a little shocking to some people that I think almost that it, you never ever allow the, the bad things to be able to let somebody go through, team or anything like that. Like we, you just talked about that group that took them out to Hawaii. That's a great, awesome event. We just talked about, you learn through failure. What are you learning in that successful situation where everybody's at Hawaii and they're having a great time, but where the most, the most education I ever found and the most healthy groups I've ever found, you went through adversity together.

You were able to come out of, you know, a bad situation and make it good. So, I mean, sometimes actually. getting Some problems and letting the team work. would be the best way to come out and have an, and have a healthy group, Whereas if you constantly keep not ever presenting any of the problems with business or any of the problems with the company, you never have that connection of having to go through something with somebody.

Adam Gragg: So if, if they go to Hawaii and the plane crashes, that's going to be

Nevada Raitt: well, that would be a bad problem.

Adam Gragg: That'd be a bad problem.

Nevada Raitt: Maybe not crashed, but maybe, like, their flights get completely delayed and they had a big business meeting when they were back in the back in the state. So now everybody's got to work together to redo it. We gotta be able to get this project done, even though we got to work remote and we don't even have our stuff because we're stuck in hawaii. That would be an interesting thing to see how that team would pull together and get that done.

Adam Gragg: Yeah. That is something else because you know, conflict is one of the things we'll talk about today in conflict builds intimacy. I mean, it brought it, bonds people together and conflict or problems, you know? So like on a vacation when the car breaks down, that's what the kids remember.

Like we changed the tire, we made it as a family. We still got there. I mean, it's like, okay, it's not, when everything's going smooth and perfect. That,

Nevada Raitt: It's funny you say that because those are your best memories. Aren't they?

Adam Gragg: Those are your best memories. Cause we did it as a family and we, you know, even some of these fights and conflicts, maybe one time, I remember going to Rhode Island as a family.

Cause I have family, I have family in Rhode Island and we were just on each other's cases and things were not going well, but I still look back on that and think. Man, we made some great memories. We saw some family, we eat some lobster and it's some of my sister even just recently talked about, and it was in a positive way.

So although, you know, shortly after that experience, we really weren't all happy with each other. Believe it or not. So connection happens through conflict, which I find really interesting because we have this whole remote workplace thing going on right now where people are actually, they've got used to and thank God for technology that allowed people to work remotely during COVID.

But what does that do into connection?

Nevada Raitt: I, I mean, I've heard plenty of people talking about it. It's been great and we're able to do all this stuff and I see it. I'm like that's, as long as you've got your team that already knows each other, in my opinion, They already are there they're detailed. Their duties are really lined up to where you need to do this one, then this, step, then this step.

And then this is out. I mean, yeah, you can do that remote, but they don't ever get that connection with them. I mean, how do you work your problems? How do they know them? How does, how do they get the story of their family and their things that are affecting them and makes them a real person and connect to them?

That's a tough thing to do. remote. I'm not saying it can't be done, but you have to look at it that way when you're doing a remote employees. situation,

Adam Gragg: It's one of those things. We're glad we have it, but it also, I hear a lot that people aren't feeling as connected remotely and there's some mental health issues and all the speak that I've seen a lot of mental health issues from people being isolated and not [00:15:00] having that physical connection.

I even myself decided to go and work in an office. I mean, COVID in June of last year and be around people, be around colleagues because on a day-to-day basis, rather than working from home, because I felt like it was impacting my mental health and it was also impacting my creativity, which, which I think is significant.

And that's the thing about relationships is there's no one there's nothing more important for your mental health and connection than human connection.

Nevada Raitt: Well, that was me and you, I mean, we kind of were going through stuff during COVID. I mean, that was pretty new in our relationship or whatever.

And you asked me multiple times, do you want to just meet over zoom? And I said, I would rather meet in person. It's really hard for you to be able to see the body language cues on a Zoom screen. It's really hard to kind of draw out where you're going too much, too little when to chime in when, to not chime in on a Zoom call.

And that's what I mean, we were talking about. you know, personal stuff, you know, business development stuff, anxiety stuff, any of that kind of stuff. It's really hard to do that on a Zoom call.

Adam Gragg: I have noticed that even now, like I encourage my clients. I have clients that are all over the country who can't actually come into my office, but encourage my clients at least for a couple sessions, because sometimes they want to meet over Zoom and they want to meet in their office while they don't want to kind of leave their office.

And, but at least come in a few times, two times preferably more. And so we can make that connection really grow in that way. And it has a huge impact. I mean, not only on mental health that I believe it's on mine as well as their coach. So it's a big deal. And I'll tell you too. I thought about a few things that if, when it comes to connection are surprising.

Cause you know, my grandpa growing up, he would call me a demski and he'd have, and this was all when we were off together, it wasn't over the phone. And I looked back on that and I think, gosh, you know, that was like a real term of endearment that he wouldn't have built with me. And he and me had a special bond and connection.

And my dad, this is kind sound, it's gonna sound kind of silly, but he would call me a fruitcake. And, and sometimes that's not really a complimentary kind of thing. I asked Emerson my daughter the other day, if, if, if I called her a fruit cake, how she feel about it. And she said, she really didn't have any kind of response.

And I said, well, we used to call people fruitcakes because you know, that was a gift you would not want to get at Christmas. Although I've had some Italian fruit cake, that's really super good. But those things in those ways that we connect in person, those in terms of endearment, those icebreakers, if you will even.

Teams have and ways to build as they go through challenging circumstances, you know, some of my favorite ice breakers, and I'm going to link in this podcast to 11 of my favorite icebreakers. And I thought even, you know,

With Nevada here in this , in this podcast, you know, one of my favorite ones is you teach somebody a skill.

They, most people wouldn't understand in five minutes and you get a front and teach them kind of how to do something that they would know how to do. What's something you could teach somebody in five minutes and it wouldn't be an expert on it, but just something you know, that they probably wouldn't know.

Nevada Raitt: I mean, you know, me, I mean, CPA I probably be do something on the, like the financial markets, but I also do a lot of sports stuff, so I can easily turn around like health stuff or we could do, I can teach you how to hit a ball in five minutes, baseball, if you want to do that one. Yeah, I can get you set up and we'll turn that one.

Adam Gragg: Hey, I could teach you how to juggle.

Nevada Raitt: Actually not me. I already know how you do. I can do four at once.

Adam Gragg: I can not do four one time. No, three, are you, so you could teach me how to do

Nevada Raitt: I can do four. Yeah.

Adam Gragg: All right. I cannot do that at all. And that is tough

Nevada Raitt: Hand-eye coordination. My dad wanted me to learn so I could be able to hit the ball better. I don't know if it worked, I, but I did end up learning how to juggle really well.

Adam Gragg: Yeah, I bet you really did. So I have a buddy that rides a unicycle.

I have not caught on to the unicycle. And that is very, that's a tougher than juggling. I will tell you a unicycle, but those are things. And even some other of my favorite icebreakers, or just share a strength and a weakness that you're working on, have the team share that. I mean, they can do it over zoom, or they can do that in person or just questions where you can get to know each other better.

And some of my favorite questions for a team to get to know each other better are, you know, what was the childhood challenge that you had. And they get to be open and vulnerable about that.

Something that was a challenge for them. Like what comes to mind for you as a childhood challenge?

Nevada Raitt: I mean, yeah, we just talked about baseball.

Would've been a good one for me. Cause I I mean, even though my dad and did everything he possibly could to make sure I was, had every ability to be great at that sport. I just never could get it down. I mean, later on we found out that I didn't have the best depth perception and vision, but I mean, that was, you know, that, that had already gone past me at that point.

I mean, I wasn't gonna be able to like make it up. I was a senior in high school. It just wasn't going to happen. So I mean, that is what I can think of right off the bat, but I mean, you turn me around now, if I need to break down, you know, and helped out a kid or, or somebody in college on their swing.

I know every piece of that, because my dad gave me the ability to learn every single. instance of that right there.

Adam Gragg: Yep. So there's challenges that we have and if we can share those, [00:20:00] we can bond honestly, cause people makes you more human right there. So I would encourage you if you found this podcast helpful so far and this topic of building connections.

Helpful so far to check out building deep and meaningful connections. It's podcast number six. Also, there's two articles I want to reference right now. One is on three tips to improving your work environment. So three areas you must focus on as a leader, and then how to connect with almost any. Also, if you found this helpful so far, please sign up for my E newsletter.

You go to Decide Your Legacy.com. You're going to get an ebook called five days to overpowering anxiety and some of my best favorite content that I use myself. And then I give to clients and you're gonna get that for free as well. So Nevada, how are you going to make connection a priority in your new business, starting out and keeping it going that way?

Nevada Raitt: Yeah, I mean, we, and you have talked a lot about this, I'm going to try to sum it up as best I can. because it's a pretty intricate. Kind of a lot of pieces, to it. But the biggest one I'm focusing on is I keep giving people that were with me going into this business that we're doing tasks to do problems that they have, and basically telling them, Hey, we need this done.

I'm here as a resource for you to help get it but I need you to take it over. And they, and they taken it over great. I mean, in case tore up, getting things, getting things set up, she's making it her own thing and I'm doing my best to line. that up. That we can be able to say, this is what you're doing and you own it and you're taking it on and it's going to be your thing.

I'm here to help it out.

Adam Gragg: So delegation has connected you to her.

Nevada Raitt: Yeah, but I mean, it's easy to say, I need you to go do this simple little task and we say we delegate it, but then we really, I mean, if you want them to own it, it's gotta be their task. They've gotta be able to say, this is how I would do it. And that's one of the biggest pullbacks I would say that you see most managers have is that they kind of go over there and say, okay, I need you to do this. You're going to go do this, write it down, like this, do that. And everything. Every step is completely this way. And if they don't do it that way, you can see them. They get upset because they're like, I told you how to do it and you didn't do it correctly. Whereas I tend to take stuff to people and I say, okay, we need to get from here to here.

I can think of about four or five different ways to get there. You need to find out what works best for you to get there. And that's usually how I do it. And, then I'm, and then after that, I do that a couple of times, I'm like, all right, This is now your thing, and I'm here to help you get it done. And then I promote, I basically promote that it's all done through them.

Adam Gragg: But you're letting them do it their way.

Nevada Raitt: Exactly. Cause you, as soon as you, as soon as you control it.

And you say, no, you didn't do that Excel spreadsheet correctly or something like that, but it still gets to the answer. How does, how does that person I mean, it's kind of what those things where it's like, if they own it, they will own it. If they don't, then it's yours, they're just doing the work. And so that's where I really focus on what can I do to make them have ownership of whatever I need them to get done that I'm delegating to them.

Adam Gragg: Ownership.

Nevada Raitt: Yeah.

Adam Gragg: Right there. So what else besides ownership do you believe is going to connect your team?

Nevada Raitt: Well, after that we're going to do games. I mean, we're going to have some fun. We're going a little bit. and my games. I mean, we're going to have internal channel. where it's, how many people have you, not people you haven't talked to in six months, I will.

you know, How many can you connect with? And over the next six months, we're going to write those down and see, and then come back and report back. of how well did you do ? who did you meet up with? How did things go? You know, and I'm not telling them we need to do that for a business thing, but our connections in our life are what drives everything.

I mean, some of the biggest ones. I've had. some people that weren't necessarily the best at doing their own connections, I'm sending them out saying we needed to get this, this and this. Do you know anybody? No. Okay. We'll try this person, this person, this person I gave them their contact. See what you think makes work What'll work right in that project.

And they're going out and contact. Next thing you know, they come back and they're giving me like eight names of people that can do things because they ended up going, oh yeah, I knew so-and-so and I knew so-and-so so we got all these different options. Which one do we want to go with? And so it's. amazing when you light that connection fire and give them some responsibility.

They come back with way more than you ever anticipated. but you got to relinquish the fact that it's, it's just not you can't just get an extension of yourself. And just you can never do that. It's another person you either build them up or they will basically tear you down.

Adam Gragg: So how are you going to build them up?

Nevada Raitt: How, like I said, I'm doing I look at everything. I can different ways to be able to give them ownership of it. And then, some, and the biggest thing, I constantly come back on. If I'm not getting that, that's something I'm doing wrong. I need to find a way to get, okay, what can I do now to maybe get them pulled in a little. What do I, what is it that they're missing?

That they're not quite taking ownership of this thing for? Is it gotta be something where, oh, you need to take over communication? Okay, I'm gonna make you the center point of this. Am I getting, do I got to give him a reward [00:25:00] center? You know, something that gets them. going, I'm not, if there was a great thing to say, you do this, then it would work, but each person is going to come out of the differently. They're going to react different on what motivates them to do it. And so you kind of got to, you got to look at that person I've going, what drives them. And the only way you're going to know that is if you know the person, knew what, you're another person, If you come into it completely genuine, that you want to do whatever you need to do to help them.

Anyway, I've already mentioned Kate. I'll mention her again. I don't care. W When we were talking about this stuff, she wanted to build an amazing health program. That's what she wanted to do.

I'm with her. I have passion for it. You know, me. I don't have time for it. And I definitely don't have the knowledge. She has the knowledge.

She has the ability. She didn't have the time, but I'll find a way to get her time to do it. All I did was say, okay, I need this done and this done, and I can help you build your program. And she is doing those. And I made her. in charge of those. But the only way she got there is because she had to take ownership of those so I could get her what she needed.

Adam Gragg: And so how do you build that intimate connection with an employee so that you know how to motivate them?

Nevada Raitt: Well, you, well, for one, every time they come to your door, it's an emergency. I mean, if it wasn't, they wouldn't be coming to you, they'd be sending you an email. So we have this really bad thing that we're in the middle of something, It's a big problem.

And somebody comes to the door and they ask you for something that's in your mind, minor in their mind, it's major.

So you kind of gotta be able to set your responsibilities off the side and say, let me take care of this. the other thing you gotta do is whenever they have a problem or they're talking into a,a situation in their life, what can I do to at least be there to listen and help.

Adam Gragg: Yeah.

Nevada Raitt: And not be like, oh, you should never do that.

Adam Gragg: Their personal stuff.

Nevada Raitt: Well yeah. I mean,

Adam Gragg: as, yeah.

Nevada Raitt: personal is going to come out and work. and if you let it, But I mean, if you completely blow it off that their personal stuff doesn't matter to the workplace.

How are they ever going to connect with you? So, I mean, you have to, you have to, like I said, you have to genuinely help the person grow as a person.

The way they want to, I mean, you can sit back and say, I need to, I want you to do this, this, this, and this. Cause you're going to beat this person. Good luck. That's never going to work. You have to be able to look at the person the way they are and find a path that you can have. possibly guide them. but you can only open doors.

You can't force those people through those. They've got to go on their own. And I mean, I'll, I'll reference books. If they're a book person, I'll reference podcasts If they're a podcast person, I'll be articles that they've run read. and ultimately I'll just give them as many tools as they can to get to themselves and I'll be there to be more than happy to talk to them in a constructive manner to say, what can we do? And the worst part about it is, is that we we focus on just the work stuff.

It's the Non-work stuff That'll make it bigger impact.

Adam Gragg: Yeah.

Nevada Raitt: I mean, one of the, one of the ladies I have working for me right now, her biggest thing was health. And that has nothing to do with where we work right now and what we're doing, but I'm helping her with that Cause that's important.

to her And we've connected very deeply Yeah. and she's changing up her diet. She's changing up her exercise routine, all kinds of stuff. That funny story, Kate was able to teach me. So I mean, that kind of stuff connects through that. And she's doing a bang up job at her as well. She's doing, because she feels that connection. She wants to make sure that we get stuff done at our

Adam Gragg: Yeah, people want connection. And I've, even as we're talking, I'm thinking about in the process of growing Decide Your Legacy to reach more people, building a bigger team. And I think I have done this in the past, but you know, personality assessments can be helpful. I find that events, celebrating birthdays, celebrating, and even mourning with people.

Those all, all those things can be helpful, but everything has to be genuine. Do we really want to get to know this person and know them on a deep level, it's going to come out through our body language. It's going to come out through how we engage the frequency, the consistency. I always feel like trust is built through consistency over time because sometimes people can do that for a week.

Whether they're really friendly and they're really encouraging as a boss and I've had that before, but if you're going to do it consistently, you're going to build that kind of trust that can really transform a relationship. So let's go onto the second thing here that I believe is really essential in creating a healthy work environment, and that is making conflict safe.

So people are not going to deal with conflict if it's not a safe. Thing to address and we all have differences. We talk about diversity. Okay. There's all kinds of different types of diversity. One is just diversity of opinion, how things get done. Diversity of being could be something like as polarizing, as politics, as polarizing as you know, I mean, all of these different topics that really we hear out in the media these days, but, but conflict is the crucial. And there's going to be a link in the show notes for this model I use with companies. It's conflict is how we get to intimacy. It's how we going through conflict. It's how we get to our [00:30:00] goals because we stick with it and we see, and, you know, even just recently with my brother, Big old blow up last week by the biggest one we've had in years.

And I feel like his tendency right now is to kind of run from me and distance from me, but I want to do the opposite. I want to engage him and really engage him because I want to see, and he is reaching out to me and talking to me, we are working through it, but I can sense and see just how it's bonding us closer.

And I shouldn't even say he's trying to run, but I, I felt that way a little bit, but I feel like it's, it's bonding us closer because we're going through the conflict. I've had conflicts with my family over the last couple of years. Deeper level at has helped us to grow and our relationships. And I will find that a con that there's a lack of safety in a culture, in a workplace culture.

When, when various forms of diversity is lacking, when people are not held accountable for expectations. There's a lack of safety when bad behavior is tolerated because you don't trust leadership. Cause they're not going to do anything. There's a lack of safety. When leaders lack personal follow through and integrity.

And that's something even me I've been thinking about sometimes I'm five minutes late, I'm 10 minutes late to something. And that is not who I want to be. And that's important and significant. I'm not late for clients, generally people that are paying me to help them, but I can be. Things with friends and I can relate to church.

I can be late to, you know, recording a podcast, you know, whatever. I can be late to certain things. And those things, they do create a situation where you're not as it's a little, it's a little chink in your armor. As far as integrity that I find over time can be significant. So how do you want to create a safe environment?

So your employees are willing to have conflict with you. And conflict is really a safe place to go.

Nevada Raitt: Yeah, I don't think, I don't know how much me and you have really talked about this, but I'm going to have to get whereas to get a little bit into, into conflict and arguments in particular. But to me, when you have a conflict when you have it. It's basically an assumption or a misunderstanding on both sides. Cause I mean, it's almost never just one sided because the other side is, if it's one side of the other side, it's going to be like, Hey look, I'm just here to learn. I'm just here to find out. I can think of things in my personal family to where I know certain times my sister in particular, I know she gets very angry with me and every time I can see it, it's an assumption she has about Me that didn't fulfill. And that's where she got it. And to me, I think that's where most people get in the workplace. I had an assumption that you were doing this and you weren't doing it. And now my thing doesn't work and it makes me look bad. And That's where your arguments in SU. So one of the biggest things that I've had, I've had plenty of people even try to kind of get me ruffled into an argument plenty of times.

And I just kind of laughed. Cause I mean the entire time I'm sitting back, I'm going like, well, I just need, I'm I'm trying to find a way to make everything work out great for whatever you want to do. I'm working on my end, and I and I expect everything to go swimmingly awful. And I'm going to work through it on my end.

But on your end, I'm here to make. your life As smooth as I possibly can on my situation. So it's really hard to have a heavy argument with me when my entire goal is to make it easy for you.

And I find that people don't get defensive or if they are defensive, then they really, what I, what I have found is that they really don't have as much they're defensive because they really aren't as confident in their position as they come across.

Most of us aren't.

Adam Gragg: Right.

Nevada Raitt: And it's weird how we think everybody else is.

Adam Gragg: Well, but a lot of people aren't, I mean, they just need to, through conflict, you learn and listen, get a different perspective. You're hearing their point of view you're open to their point of view when we're polarized, we're not open. I mean, it's kind of almost this arrogant position.

Like I know what's best now. And so I'm not really into learn and love this kid's book called we're going on a bear hunt. And it's like, I remember it from when I was a kid and I believe it's the same book at least. Cause I remember the concept, but basically it's a dad taking his kids on this trek and they come up to a river and it's like, you know, we're going on a bear hunt and we're going to catch a big one.

We're going to, you need me to remember the words to that? And then it says, we can't go, they come to this river, we can't go over it. We can't go under it. We gotta go through it. And so they go Trek through the river and then they come up to this mud. And it's like really deep mud and squishy, you know, we're going on a bare hand, we got to catch a big one, you know, and we can't go over it.

We can't go under it. We got to go through it. There's no way of actually dealing with conflict successfully if you're not willing to go through it. And so people miss out and I think that's really a problem. I societaly honestly, is that we miss out on all this diversity of perspective, all this knowledge, all this wisdom.

And then we will, we miss out on the connection that we get by going through those difficult things.

Nevada Raitt: Well, yeah, I mean, That's the other thing we did kind of talk a little bit about one of the biggest things I'm trying to preach. My people is that we want to run towards Columbus. I mean, that by, we don't want to shy away from there's so many people that are afraid and that's where I was kind of going in this assumption role is that, oh, I, you [00:35:00] realize there's a problem there.

There's obviously a miscommunication. There's not an understanding between us. Otherwise we wouldn't. have conflict that's brewing and they almost kind of shut down and walk away. Because they don't want to seem that their position, which they not really confident about is good. It will be, we'll be brought out that that's not really the right way.

And it will be almost like a shame to her herself going like, wow, I was dominant. I'm supposed to be in charge of this. Whereas opposed to you kind of almost got to go in and going like, oh, here's what I think this thing should be. Whatever problem it is, political, whatever. This is the way. And that person is coming back against you creates a whole nother level of another side that you didn't even know existed saying like, oh, wow.

That completely made the way I feel about it almost completely different now. So if I'm always kind of going in it that I can't see it from their perspective. I have to be able to hear what they are trying to say, what they want to do so that I can even get an idea. What kind of, per what kind of situation.

Adam Gragg: I would say almost assumed that you have assumptions that are not accurate as you go into it and assume that you're not all, I mean, you're going to learn something, have a curious, and that's something that they say might totally change your perspective.

Nevada Raitt: If we were completely on the same page, we wouldn't be having a conflict.

Adam Gragg: Yeah, I think so crazy that people formulate their answers to before they even listen. I mean, they just already know what they're going to say, and they're not listening whatsoever. I mean, even last week I had this conflict with my brother, as I mentioned in one thing he thought I had said was, well, he thought I had said that get off your pity pot or something like that and stop yourself pity.

And I hadn't actually said that. I mean, I have said that before, but. And I don't feel like it had, I feel like it'd been a year before when I had said something like that to him, but he still had this thing on his mind and it came out in the conference.

And then he eventually realized, well, yeah, you know, that was some resentment that he had held onto and I've had some resentment and things had to work out with him as well.

But through the conflict, I saw my own assumptions, which is crazy because it was like, wow, I can see clearly it's this whole thing that I talk about. So often. Passes. We want insight. I mean, one of the best things you're coaching and counseling is insight into ourselves so that we're no longer going to be reactive.

We're going to respond intentionally. So we have decisions we can make, we can make our own choices. Absolutely. So this is, if this topic interests you, I will tell you to check out podcast number 31 on overcoming the fear of rejection because conflict, a lot of times is avoided because we fear rejection and there's some things you can do to actually kind of strengthen yourself.

You can seriously strengthen yourself. So rejection is not going to be nearly as intimidating as well. So what can you do to make your team safer.

Have clear expectations for everybody. This is just some of my ideas. And you kind of chime in here in Nevada as well, teaching people how to listen effectively and communicate their opinions in a non-threatening fashion.

And a non-threatening fashion can be something is saying, you know, I could be wrong about this, or even complimenting them before you actually share something you're concerned with other, you can't do that in every interaction or else. They're always going to think you're going to share something critical or conflictual potentially every time you give them a compliment, which is not really safe and healthy, you gotta have a.

Positive engagement that happens consistently. So swiftly as a leader, addressing bad behavior following through on commitments, respecting and considering different viewpoints as a leader, modeling that modeling different viewpoints, even building, being able to say, gosh, I was wrong. I was wrong. No excuses.

I was wrong. No excuses is one of the most powerful phrase. That I think anybody can have in their vocabulary if you mean it genuinely. I mean the no excuses part's really important too, because I was wrong. But what do you think, Hey, I mean, you think everything before that they actually don't really believe they're wrong about so encouraging people consistently, and it's a five times more than you ever actually want to engage in conflict.

I would say too, as well, that 5% of conflict. Remains when there's a high level of connection. So there's a real high level of connection between people what's left is like the genuine significant conflict that you have to work out. A lot of things just melt away because you start trusting that person through connection.

You start believing that they believe in you and that they are trustworthy and have your best interests at heart as well. So how, what are some of your best tips on managing conflict? You know, conflict navigation?

Nevada Raitt: Well, I think the biggest one for me. is I don't shy away from it. I don't beat around the bush on it. I mean, it can be a sensitive topic, political or whatever, if you want to get into that, but you can't go into it being like, well, we're, we're not gonna, we're not going to really address that.

We're going to kind of beat around the Bush. at it. You kinda gotta go at it. Like I said, where we w we're gonna go run towards the conflict and that's a hard thing to do, but you got to do it without saying like, this is going to, this is going to create a problem. If we talk about it, the problem already happened. The clump, the conflict's already there. We got to find something to get out of it.

Adam Gragg: Yeah. Because you can't be too excited about the conflict there also, you're going to look at somebody that's

Nevada Raitt: I'm not trying to say we're excited about it but we can't be scared of it.

Adam Gragg: Can't be [00:40:00] scared of it.

Nevada Raitt: Because we're learning, we're learning. But basically that conflict created a problem in our workplace and our connections and our relationships and the people that help us get business done and make us successful. we gotta be able to tack this head on and go for it so that we can get a re resolved and go forward. And there's plenty of times where people are like, there's no way we can resolve it.

To me, whenever I hear that I got to turn it right back to myself. And I got to say something I'm doing here is not making the right connection between these people. I gotta change my tact of how I'm going to go about this.

Adam Gragg: So when you hear from somebody that works for you, there's no way to resolve this problem. You start looking.

Nevada Raitt: I start looking internally.

Adam Gragg: Saying, what am I doing? That's making them not believe that we can solve this or what it might, what about the culture? Have I contributed to, that's giving people the vocab to say, like, we can't do this.

Nevada Raitt: Absolutely. And I mean, and sometimes, I mean, that could go back to the very heart of air. I mean, everything, your basis, assumptions, of everything you're doing. And do I got to change up how I'm going to go about it? How I bring the people in how I put them together, how I train them, how I do. whatever. 'cause. I mean, ultimately what I did, I was the one that put them in that place.

It's my job to get, find a way to get them And that's where I got to go into every, every single relationship I'm in every person I'm in, there's a good person in there that wants to make do something. great. And if I let the person get to the point where they're. not, I That's almost a failure on my end, and that, that is my job to get that clarity with that person that we're working together.

Adam Gragg: And then reminds me of something I hear sometimes that people will say like, this generation is lazy or they don't want to work or whatever, but here's the, here's the thing is I think everybody wants to be successful. Everybody personally. They're good person, honest person. They really want to contribute.

They want to live out their purpose. don't believe that people are. And just want to be slackers. if I go and I approach people that work for me, or be even clients as if they don't want to make strides here, then that changes my demeanor and my perspective that leads to actually this unhealthy kind of conflict.

When I believe like, you know, everyone wants to contribute, what can I do to help them make that big, that, that contribution the way they want to.

It changes. My perspective is everything about the way I approach the situation. So

Nevada Raitt: Absolutely. I mean, Nobody wants to who,

ha

when I see somebody like that, if somebody says, look there, it's like, or they're not wanting to do anything.

They just want a free ride. They want to blah, blah, blah. I almost see it as a cry for help. Cause I, you know, that person wants you to think highly of them. They want to do something amazing in this world. They're amazing thing may not be accepted by a lot of people, but they're amazing thing could be. great. You got to find a way to bring that out.

And give them the confidence to do it.

Adam Gragg: I love that and see how well that will help me a lot, because I have trust issues. And as I've, as I'm growing, decide your legacy, I have trust stuff that comes out. That's not related to people that I'm going to hire or employee it's related to me. It's related to my own junk that I have to realize comes to the surface.

And then, so I'll start thinking, you know, they want to take advantage of me or they're a slacker or whatever, when it's not really true. The accurate, healthy point of view is, you know, they want to contribute. They want to be their best. They want to be the best version of themselves. Everyone wants to be the best version of themselves.

Nevada Raitt: Pretty much.

Yeah. I mean, and what what can we do to make that happen? And that's just the people around me that I don't care if that's my, my best friend, my coworker, my sister, my parents, whatever, something in there. I need to bring out the greatest. I mean, you, you can bring up anybody you want in my life that I've had.

that I'm like, no, they want to be the person that you go to. What do you got to do to make that happen?

Adam Gragg: Well, that's powerful stuff. So the third thing I want to mention is that the healthiest families and healthiest organizations from the ground up, they highlight the meaning behind everything. And when you have a new startup, the meaning is very clear.

You know, the founder has just started the company. We know the purpose. Generally the goals are easier to set and maintain because we're kind of in survival mode. I mean, we just got to get through the first year we gotta get through the second year. Over time, the meaning leaks, meaning leaks. What I mean by meaning is that these are the values of the company.

This is the vision of the company. Where are we going to be in five years? We're going to be in 10 years. These are the core values. That mean this is the purpose of the company. What are we? What's our ultimate purpose as an organization. I mean, I've mentioned that my personal life purpose, I mentioned at the beginning of every podcast, that's also the life purpose of the company and the vision of decide your legacy has helped be helping people and companies create legacy plans.

That they're going to be inspired by, to face their biggest fears and actually live out their legacy. So what we don't often see is how companies will intentionally implement meaning and remind people why we're doing what we're doing. So what is it? And we're making decisions that are filtered through our values are making decisions that are filtered through our vision.

Are we hiring people that align with our values, we're hiring people and partnering with [00:45:00] people that align with our values. So what are your plans, Nevada of keeping the meaning at the forefront.

Nevada Raitt: Hmm. I mean, it's always difficult and again, you're going to constantly keep changing it. You got to find that works.

What works for each person. So, I mean, I wish there could just put a blueprint, but one of the biggest things I'm going to do is I'm really gonna to encourage. we're going to have, you know, I I'd love to say contests, but we're just going to track it. The P the people will be able to they'll, They'll start their own contest. You just have to, you just have to give them the ability to do it.

but we're going to track Mindfulness meditation, you know, vision or I'm sorry, vision visualizations, and you know, that kind of stuff. And I'm going to, I'm going to basically give them the time and the effort to do it on the clock because I need them to look at what can I, what is my next step in my life? I want them to be thinking about that.

We're going to follow it up. I'm going to have to have open door. I gotta be able to check myself, even though I'm. running, you know, A hundred hours of work or whatever a week, I've gotta be able to check that and say, what do I need to do for that person. What do I need to do to develop them? What is the thing that is going to make them want to spend a hundred hours working on something else I can help them with get there.

That's what I am going to constantly coming back to, what do they need at that point? Do they need motivation? Do they need reflection? Do they need partnership? Do they need a skill that we can do? I'm going to have to constantly keep asking. myself about every single employee. I know you have bad ones. Those are the ones you got to run after

Adam Gragg: And that's in Nevada is wanted and is implementing a strategy where wellness is so. At the forefront that it's a part of their work time. And so what, how do you, how do you plan on addressing this? If somebody is not making, you know, gratitude and, and self-reflection, and you know, really personal improvement, a priority,

Nevada Raitt: but, well, I mean, are we looking at a manager side or an employee side or both? We can do both

Adam Gragg: Okay.

Nevada Raitt: On the manager side, I mean, we tend to not take enough time to do that ourselves.

We think we're too busy. We don't have time. for that. The biggest one I would say is if you are that busy, you need that because that's, how else are you keeping everything straight? If You don't, everything is so scattershot and you're chasing your own tail.

Whereas if you take five minutes, I know you spent more than five minutes, checking out Facebook or Google or whatever, take that and say, I need to reset myself. I need to get in. I need a I need to meditate a little bit. I need to get my goals in line and what do we need to do now later, whatever. So I would come to that person.

I'd say that is. what is. On the manager side, though, you need your employees, the people that are underneath you, to be taking on as much as they can. So then you got that. You're looking, you got to develop them to be able to do that kind of stuff also because you want 10 of them running around doing all the stuff that you're trying to get done.

So if you don't take the time and effort to put that in place, all you're doing is chasing all your employees. And all the different things they're doing the biggest belief behind all this though, is the fact that if you have somebody that is focused on what they want to do, understands the person and the life and the goal they're trying to get to, they're going to basically get everything done because they're so focused on that.

They're not bouncing around over here, checking out this, doing this, what kids did over, what the kids did here, what they did over there. They've got it lined in. I'm working on this. I'm focused on this, I'm doing this.

Adam Gragg: So would you say the purpose of your organization is to help the employee partially grow?

Nevada Raitt: Hmm, I hope I have. I hope I develop an entire group of people that are constantly coming in and coming out with, with businesses that they do, that, that is stuff that they care about the most I can I'll help them any way they want.

I mean, we got all kinds of connections on, you know, whether we do the books for them or we do you know,Logistics for them or something like that, or they need a space. that We need to find a rent space, whatever, whatever they may need to be able to do what they want to do. Great. Because on the backend, I'm teaching them how to do procedures.

Do things in line that allows me to be able to bring somebody else in and develop them too. So I'm not looking for somebody to basically come work for me for. And you're going to answer the phones for 30 years. Congratulations. No that person can come in and answer. the phones, But at the very beginning, I'm going to start developing, what do they want to do with their life personally? Yeah. What is the next thing they wanna do? What can I have nothing to do with. what I'm doing? But if that's, what's going to motivate that person to do well. Yeah. Let's bring It in and make it, let's develop that.

Adam Gragg: How, how will you, cause I said before the meaning behind why we're doing what we're doing leaks. So how does somebody stay focused in your opinion, on their goals?

Nevada Raitt: You gotta, you gotta, It's a daily thing. You've got to revisit on a regular basis. It never ends. We're constantly learning. We're constantly changing. So, I mean, you can't ever be like, well, you know, five years ago, you said you wanted to do this. Well, that was five years ago. Thanks to. I mean, how am I you, will, my stuff changes [00:50:00] almost daily and so I have to constantly keep re re revisiting that.

What is the main goal here? What is the main thing we're doing? And if you don't think that other people need to go through that, why not? Why aren't you, why do you think that wouldn't happen? Right? They're all doing. that. And most of us are constantly chasing our tails, Not realizing some of the things that are going on may offend some other people.

Sometimes you just have to ask, Is there something you can help them?

Adam Gragg: So I find too, and just as I grow, Decide Your Legacy. Sharing, how people are living out on the team and clients, the core values of the company. So courage, for example, I had a client today that did something very courageous by addressing a colleague by standing up and even.

Reached out to somebody that was a very difficult person in his life professionally and started a conversation, ask about how he met his wife and ended up being a real positive conversation. So frequently discussing the company purpose, mission, vision values. Frequently discussing and implementing it even starting new traditions, because traditions help reinforce values, only hiring and contracting with people that align with your values, celebrating when members live out the purpose, mission, vision values of the company, talking about the history of the company.

You know, we're only come from, I mean, even today, listening to you, Nevada, this is a dream that's come out of your own personal experiences professionally that you want to implement in your own company. So it becomes. Pretty significant. So final question for you is what is one tradition you want and you are going to establish with your company from the beginning.

Nevada Raitt: Oh, excellent question. I, The tradition I'm going to have is that we're, we're, we're really gonna focus on athletics in particular. I mean just, and not trying to be like, basketball. I mean, all of them. I mean, I, I, I really do want to do that thing. I've never done. before. You're say you're an excellent martial artist, which I've never done. Still intrigued. I will let you teach me how to do martial arts because I find it completely. intriguing.

Adam Gragg: So everyone in the company is going to be teaching each other, their athletic skills.

Nevada Raitt: I mean, you mentioned it And that's one of the things I constantly do with people. I mean, I've,

I've got 11 year old girls softball that we coach that I've had them teaching the nine-year-old girls how to hit. And so many of them come out of there learning something about their own hitting. You learn the best by teaching them.

Adam Gragg: By teaching, it's a teaching culture. So, so if you love this podcast, please share it on your Instagram stories and your Facebook page. And then tag me, Adam Gragg or tag Decide Your Legacy. That's how the podcast grows.

We don't have any major sponsors, big corporations pushing it. So please like it and share it and give us a review, apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts as well. Two of my favorite quotes that I share almost every episode in the end. It's not the years in your life. That count it's the life in your years.

Are you living life to its fullest? Are you creating the kind of workplace as a leader where people are living their lives and living their lives to the fullest? Are you creating that kind of wellness centered workplace, which I know Nevada rate is creating and is going to keep creating. And I'm really excited to see how as business develops.

Churchill said success is not final. Failure is not fatal. It's the courage to continue that counts. What are you going to take away from today? What are you going to apply today? Was there one thing do it, and don't wait. As I've mentioned before, people change one first through awareness then through acceptance and then through.

You got to take some action and it's 25% awareness and acceptance and it's 75% action. Nothing that you gained from the day will actually stick. Unless you take some action and take some action soon, something I'd really encourage you to consider. And I've been doing this more and more is have me out to speak at your workplace on mental health.

I'd love to go and talk and it could be an hour or two hour talk. I'll share the things that people want to know to actually live the fullest life possible. And it's all evidence-based mental health. I come from a mental health coaching perspective. I've been doing this over zoom as well for companies and even leading small groups through my online coaching course, tune up for life as well as a team.

So what do you want to be remembered for 10 years after you're gone? Think about that. that.

Are you living that life now? What do you need to change to live that life? You make a decision to apply something that you learned today. You decide your legacy. No one else. I appreciate you. And thanks for tuning in.

See you next time.[00:55:00]

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