Ep030_KickstartSelfConfidence
===

Adam Gragg: [00:00:00] Welcome back to the decide your legacy podcast. This is episode number 30 at a topic that I'm very excited about today. It's on kick-starting your self-confidence. It's the beginning of the year. It's a great time to focus on this. And I, there is a difference between to me, confidence and self-confidence we can have confidence as a musician or as an engineer, as an athlete. Self-confidence is that overall belief in ourselves that we can handle whatever challenge is brought our way we can handle it. We can get through it. We believe in ourselves. That's the confidence I'm talking about. We're going to work on building that today.

And I told you before that, I'm going to take a risk and share that with you every episode. And so that risk that I took recently was I talked to two strangers at Starbucks. Their best tips on building self-confidence and actually it was so much fun and it was received so well. I ended up talking to five different strangers and I thought in my mind they would think I was weird and they would reject me, but they actually were real excited about giving me some tips.

I'm going to share some of those tips, actually all five of them with you today in this episode, in fact, so I have a lot to share and I think you're going to find this information extremely helpful. And for those of you that don't know, I'm Adam Gregg, I'm a life coach, mental health professional. Been doing this over 20 years.

This is episode number 30, so I haven't been podcasting for over 20 years. My life purpose is to help people find transformational clarity, and overcome their biggest fears. Seeing people face their fears, lights me up. I sometimes have them face their fears in my office. One guy today. I couldn't get him to do that, unfortunately, but anyway, It's up to them. But living without regrets, I talk about things in a way that you could go out of this and leave this podcast.

And you can tell your six year old about this concept and they would basically understand what you're talking about. In fact, they could teach you some things on the topic, most likely as well. I also discuss topics that I struggle with myself. I am a fellow traveler. I struggle with anxiety. I was asked recently why.

People are negative. Why is it so easy to be negative? And that was a great question. And it's like, well, I mean, negativity, first of all, it seems more natural generally because our primary instinct is to be safe. And so if we're negative, we're looking around our environment, seeing looking good, wrong, the worst case scenario, what could happen here, what could happen there?

And in fact, our brains, they like. It takes about two seconds for a negative thought to stick. You've heard of the term neuro, a neural pathway, a neural pathway, which is patterns of thinking basically. Well, it takes two seconds for a negative and it takes 14 seconds for a positive it's like the negativity is like Velcro and positivity, gratitude, all that it's like Teflon.

Seven times more energy into it, but we have to meet with it's worth it. We need to do it as part of becoming more calm, more self-confidence I, We have about 70,000 unique thoughts a day. Think about it, but you do have some control. You do have some ability to rise above them and to change them. We often struggle with negativity.

First of all, well, it's easy. It's natural. It's the way that we function, but also because of life experiences. Where we've been betrayed, victimize hurt in some way. I was a victim recently in November of fraud. And this is the first time I've talked about this publicly. I've seared it with some friends, but basically, I lost five grand and I'm super grateful that.

Life I'm in a position where that doesn't totally destroy me, but it hurts. And what hurt even more was the fact was all the self-talk like, how could I fall for this? How could I fall? How could I be a sucker like this? You know, better Adam. And so they played on my fears. It was somebody impersonating an officer.

They had a phone number that linked to the Wichita police department. And I got sucked into it. And it took me probably three weeks to get out. I mean, some of my friends had that really helped me there because I just felt so much shame about the whole thing. So those things happen or if we're betrayed as a kid, I mean, I went through a divorce if, and I went through some betrayal, other betrayal in my life as a kid and a young man and those things we want to avoid being hurt so bad.

So we become super keen. On on what could go wrong and that's anxiety. And that can be the clinical level of anxiety that I'm talking about, which feeds off of that worst outcome focus. It feeds off of that, that ambiguity. And it also feeds off of, off of avoidance, which we're going to talk about more. So I had [00:05:00] recently a client who is a in fact, this is when the last couple of weeks, but he's in real estate.

And he had sold last year, $5 million worth of real estate. I don't know the real estate too much, but I know they in agents, in my area, they were at that level. I think they were in the top 200, something like that. that wasn't good enough for him because he's had a lot better years in the past and some people had really good years.

So anyway, he, he spent a day, a whole day in bed doing nothing telling himself he was a failure. Telling himself he could have done better. And what's the purpose of me even going out and trying. And it's interesting how someone who I would perceive as so successful can have thoughts like that naturally.

And it's the imposter syndrome. We often feel like we're not good enough, even when we are good at something, I asked him also, I said, well, what's the benefit or the payoff for you to think you're a failure. Because there is a benefit or payoff where we wouldn't actually do it. A lot of clients, one of my clients struggle with this when they have negative thoughts, what's the benefit they say, well, there's no benefit.

You know, I say, yes, there is because you wouldn't do it. If there wasn't and the benefit or pay offer this client was well. You know, I can stay safe. I, I get hurt. I get rejected. I mean, when I'm making this money and I'm out there, I get right. I mean, I don't wanna, I hate that kind of stuff and they're very successful, but for some reason they were struggling at that point right now, you know?

And, and then through the conversation they decided, well, I'm going to set the goal of. And production, which I really think they can actually do. So if you'd like my style and if you like what you're hearing so far, I really encourage you to sign up for my email newsletter@decideyourlegacy.com. You will get three great, excellent resources.

One is 50 relationship building questions. One is on life balance tips, 12 life balance tips, and then five days to over-powering anxiety. Some of my best stuff that I use with clients and have for years and years. So let's just jump right in. One of the things that feeds anxiety is focusing on the worst case, the worst possible outcome ambiguity, which means not defining the problem it's fuzzy, but more than anything it's avoidance.

And so the first commitment to make for you to kickstart yourself confidence is to commit to facing things, commit to stopping the avoidance patterns in your life. And you know what those are. Are you avoiding talking to your spouse about difficult subjects? Are you avoiding looking at your finances?

Are you avoiding addressing something with a colleague? Are you avoiding exercise regimen or getting up at the right time? What is it that you are avoiding? Are you avoiding facing your past? Cause it takes great courage to actually face our past. Are you avoiding doing something that you were inspired to do?

That was good. I remember when I was right out of college, I had this inspiration to call the fraternity cook. Her name was Irene racy and it came out of nowhere and I wanted to push it off. And I actually, and I know this sounds weird and I know even some of my buddies, maybe don't even believe this actually happened.

But I called her and I was inspired to call her and tell her that, you know, what we really appreciated having you. We really appreciate you. I know people are not always nice and they're grouchy and, but we really appreciate you. And she listened and I could tell she was emotional. And later that day she was in a car accident and died.

And if I would've avoided that I would have avoided a huge, I don't, it just sticks with me. It gives me chills talking about it. We, one of the things that, one of the things Francis is, was his name at Starbucks this morning that I, that I talked to, they gave me some tips. He, his best tip was, was, was master your material.

And engage people basically. So it was interesting, you know, engage in these and read this guys in real estate and just become an expert in that increases your confidence and a topic, but that whole engaging people, that's the self competence piece. I know a lot of times we will procrastinate and avoid doing things that you know, are, are scary.

I remember once when I was a freshman in college, I. There were all fraternities were having dances and bringing dates. And it was the first semester I was brand new and I was insecure and I didn't know a lot of women and I was 19. And I kept putting off and putting off and putting off, asking a date, like literally until like, days before the actual dance.

And so I had pretty slim [00:10:00] pickings there that wasn't the best strategy and I could have had a good out of date a lot sooner, but what are you procrastinating on and avoiding commit this year to starting the year off, not avoiding that thing. For me counting the cost of procrastination actually can help me to not procrastinate if I really count the cost because I don't want to die with regrets.

And so like, for example, if I don't overcome my fear of flying, this is not me personally, although that was a fear of mine I had, and I won't be a viable candidate for promotion. I won't get speaking gigs in other cities. If I continue to neglect friendships, that I'll be lonely. If I neglect my health, I'll get diabetes.

I'll live. I want to have a good quality of life. It won't be able to play with my grandkids if I don't budget and live within budget. Then if I keep avoiding that and avoiding opening mail and I'm spending that I'm not going to have the financial security I want to have when I'm older, if we neglect things for a long period of time, there are consequences.

Some an activity. I like to take clients through. Frequently as a visualization activity where I will have them, first of all, focus on their breathing and relax, and I'll tell them, you know, as you focus on your breathing and even the movement in your belly, it's going to naturally relax. You I'll have them close their eyes when they do this.

And there's something that they're avoiding. Maybe they're avoiding dealing with a health issue, avoiding something with a spouse, addressing something with a parent, public speaking, something professionally, but they have this fear that they are. Dealing with and they're avoiding it. So, and then I'll have them visualize themselves succeeding in whatever it is that they're actually avoiding.

And I'll even have use this worksheet. It's called, it's called if I had more confidence and the worksheet has questions that I'll ask them, you know, I'll have them do this actually with their eyes closed. So if your confidence was on a scale of one to 10, a 10 in that specific area, maybe where they have some insecurity and some confidence issues or overall self-confidence.

You know, what, as I'll have them visualize what it would be like if it was a 10 and to think about that and to let that sink in, what decisions would they make? How would they handle the situation? How would it go? How would they talk to people? What would their posture be like if their confidence level was that high and then with their eyes closed, I'll say, you know, let's let this sink in.

This is a visualization. You can take this with you and think about it again, three more times today or something like that. But I have, I have challenged many clients do that, have this workshop. And there's a link here, which you're not going to want to miss this worksheet. This is something that I use with clients frequently, and it's called if I had more confidence and the instructions are to rate your self-confidence broadly on a scale of one to 10 or in a specific area on a scale of one to 10, then imagine, and this is a worksheet where you actually write things down.

This is, and it's a fillable PDF. So the link will bring you to a fillable downloadable PDF. You can share it with your friends, family, all that, but the questions are essential. You just got to go with your gut and answer them. If I had more confidence and you rate it, and then you say, if it was a 10, if it really was a 10, you know, answer these six questions, how would I act and behave differently around other.

Well, I mean, you might be friendly, smile more, my laugh, more share your opinion. More things like that. Second question is what would I start doing or do more often if my confidence level was at a 10, so it could be specifically musically? Well, they would, they would, they would connect with more musicians.

They would try new things. If it was self calm, broadly, maybe they would try yoga. They would journal delegate tasks to people. What would they start doing and do more often? And these are things that are going to keep you from avoiding. They're going to inspire you inspiration from within to actually engage things.

What would I stop doing? If my confidence with that was at a 10, but what I stopped doing, what I stopped worrying, procrastinating, criticizing others. Overspending nicotine social media. Number four is how would my perspective about myself, my life people and my circumstances change. You might start seeing your value, you would start seeing your value.

You would see that your values internal, if you had high self-confidence you'd know that it has nothing to do with your external circumstances, with money, with your job, with your wife, with your hot girlfriend. Although, you know, hot girlfriends are great. Anything external is ultimately not going to be in, could and should not be a source.

It won't be a source of long-term self-confidence number five is what risks would I start taking that? I'm not that I'm afraid to start taking. If I was at it, if it was at a 10, what risks would I start taking? joined a running club I'd podcast, volunteer, write a blog, date, more, join a civic group. And the sixth question is what goals would I set and work towards?

If I had confidence at a level at a 10 on a scale, on a scale of one to 10. [00:15:00] That is, is crucial. One of the guys I talked to today to, his name is Chris it's Starbucks, and he is in mortgage and he was asked him what his best advice was. And he said, build some wins, build some wins in your life. And he referenced Dave Ramsey, snowball, which is, where you pay off your debt smallest to largest.

So you may have a credit card with $300 on it. You pay that off first. And then you pay off the next smallest debt, the next small step, and you start seeing this progression of success. And so if your goal was to get up at 6:00 AM you did it once. Okay, great. Then you did another day and another day you started to see that I can actually do this on a consistent basis.

Those are building wins into your life, that you can face things and actually build wins and have success. So commitment number two. Can it be number one was stop avoiding things. You procrastinators, you avoiding procrastinators out there listening. I know, I know you, I know some of you, because some of you are my clients that are listening.

So you know who you are and I'm not going to name any names, but if you don't do some of the things I'm asking you to do, maybe one day on a podcast, I will name names are all threatened. That because that might motivate you. Who knows? So could they have been number two is a key promises to you. We all make these promises.

We make these commitments to ourselves. You know, my daughter will say, I'm a vegetarian and I'm going to be a vegetarian for the whole month, the whole month of August. And then we go on vacation and she's like, except for this. Except for vacation and she's discouraged. I mean, because we make these promises and we shouldn't be making those kinds of commitments without some thought.

And we should, in fact, that worksheet, what would I do? What goals would I set if my confidence was at a 10, that can be very helpful to you to set goals, to set realistic, challenging, healthy goals. But what promises am I going to make? I mean, I made two promises to myself today. One was that I was going to get my run in, in the morning before work.

So like 6:00 AM kind of deal in a 25 degree weather. That kind of thing. I knew I wasn't going to want to do it. And the other one was to actually follow through with taking a risk because I waited until this morning to go and talk to those strangers at Starbucks. Because anyway, I can procrastinate, as I told you already that I struggle with the same stuff I talk about.

So don't be criticizing me out there. if it's going to church, you know, I, I'm going to go to church. I'm going to go to mass and I'm going to actually, and then we don't fall through with it. Well, we're betraying ourselves. We're not. Being honest, we're betraying it's self betrayal. And the energy level when we fall through is tremendously different than when we don't.

I mean, you know what I'm talking about, you know, you want to do something and you make a commitment to doing it. As simple as I'm going to make a pumpkin pie for Thanksgiving, and I'm committed in my mind, I'm going to do it this year. I'm not going to be that guy who never brings anything at Thanksgiving, even though I'm a, you know, my wife's a great cook and she makes all this great stuff and you don't make the pumpkin pie.

That's not keeping a promise to yourself. I mean, don't beat yourself up again. It's not about perfection, but we make these commitments. We set these goals. We make these, you set these intentions and then we let ourselves down. And sometimes what we do is we just sabotage ourselves because like I said, there's a benefit to why we do what we do.

And there's a benefit to self-sabotage and by self-sabotage, I mean, perfectionism and procrastination can be self sabotage. Choosing dysfunction, dysfunctional relationship cycles. I know people, clients, I mean, they continually. Meet good people to date. And then they're always drawn to that other people who are not going to treat them as well, who really aren't the best fit because they're more comfortable there.

What's the payoff. The payoff is they don't have to actually change. Maybe they don't, maybe they don't have to change some bad habits around that kind of dysfunctional and that dysfunctional relationship when they would in a healthier relationship. Self-sabotage. We're betraying ourselves. Getting stuck in excuses can be self-sabotage and acting insecure can be, self-sabotage just always that insecurity and taking that with you, fixating on anything can be self-sabotage picking fights with friends, picking fights with your spouse and your coworkers can be self-sabotage putting yourself down.

It can be self-sabotage and there's a benefit to all of these things, because what is the payoff? Ask yourself? What is the payoff to self-sabotage? The payoff is that keeps us safe. We don't have to go do something new. We don't have to put ourselves out there. We don't have to be stretched. We don't have to grow.

Honestly, we can lie around, do the same thing that we did before that's hurting us. But that is easier because [00:20:00] making good decisions can be a lot more painful than making bad ones temptations. Our temptations because, you know, Hey, they're, they're fun. I mean, come on. It's, it's fun. And you can all know what I'm talking about to do things that are bad, that are temptations all the time for all of us, especially with all the access on the internet and all the access that we have with social media, to people.

And there's just really lots of ways that we can. Do things that are sabotaging ourselves. So this one gal that I talked, I didn't get her name, actually. She's the only one I did only one this morning that I talked to who I didn't, I didn't get his name. I didn't actually get, and, and her best advice was be honest with people and create the habit of being honest with people.

And I took that. I mean, she was the youngest of the people I talked to. I would've guessed. She was about 19 or 20 and. If you don't know something on a topic, she said, well, act confident, carry yourself in a confident way. Believe in yourself, basically. And if you don't know something, admit it be honest.

Oh, we honest with ourselves thought that was very interesting. And so you can apply this in a lot of different ways. But one thing I do with clients a lot of times is I'll have them write down what their ideal, realistic Workday. And what time would you get up? What time would you go to bed? When would you work out?

When would you call your wife? What would you have for lunch? When would you make lunch? And when would you, it's just not this perfect Workday, but what would you do in those first few hours in the morning? Which I feel that if you have a few hours before you go to work, it's extremely helpful. And a lot of successful people, I know do a lot of productive things in the more.

But what would those things be? And then you set this imperfect yet. I use the word ideal, which implies perfection, but you know what I mean? It's something that you know is realistic and then you start following through with it. So you get up, you go to bed, you do the things you said you're going to do on that realistic day.

That ideal day you can do it for the weekends. The key thing is that you follow through, you're going to make mistakes. It's not going to be perfect. You're going to have days where you don't follow through and that's okay. And you're going to learn to forgive yourself and move forward. You are going to start doing something new and different.

And so one of my goals is to encourage somebody every day to share something I admire appreciate, and that I'm thankful for every day. And that's, that's one of my goals for the year. You can set your goals, which I would encourage you to do even is to set some goals now for the year. And this is an activity I do with clients is I'll have them within three minutes at three goals.

And usually if I put that kind of pressure on them, they can come up with some really good stuff. I mean, he would be a lot of the same stuff if they had 10 days or 10 months to come up with goals. So far everything's resonating with self building. Self-confidence. In the show notes to a popular article that I wrote called 18 ways to build self-confidence 18 ways to build self-confidence.

So click on that link and check out some of the stuff in there. Cause there's more tools and tips and commitments and things you can do to build self-confidence. So commitment number three. And this is the one that I would say is the most difficult for me is don't play it safe, be committed to not playing it safe this year.

And be committed to not playing it safe for the rest of your life. I remember one time, my dad telling me that my dad's a risk taker and I admire that and he's a real estate. And he told me that he didn't get into real estate really heavily until he was in his forties. He was close to my age. He was always in sales.

He sold building products, but he said, when his dad died, he remembered his dad saying things like I should have bought that piece of property. I should have taken that other job. I should have done this and that bothered my dad cause it bothered his dad and his dad died really young in his early sixties of colon cancer.

My dad hasn't played it safe. You know, I've seen that consistently. I've played it safe in a lot of situations. I can think that. One time in college, I'm kind of ashamed of this. I, I remember one time as a freshmen, there was like almost a fight in the dorms as a kid. This guy was picking on somebody else.

And, and I, I stood up to the guy who was a big guy and I wasn't afraid and he backed down and I had the courage to stand up. But then I remember another situation when I was a senior, that it was all these things involved. Alcohol. Nope. Not going to. Deny that. So, don't share that with your six year old, but you can share don't play it safe with your six year old, real easily, because they can resonate [00:25:00] with that.

You know, they know that something might be scary and soccer. They are going to be more aggressive. They're going to do something different at school, meet a new, make a new friend. I've bribed my daughter many times to not play it safe to meet new people. One situation that still kind of haunts me really too in college is one, was that a friend got cheap shot.

By some drunk guy out on the porch of the fraternity. And I was not right there, but I was in the distance and I saw it right after it happened. And I saw the guy and I still have, and the guy were like, kind of fleed, but I still have this thing. Like I should've chased the guy down. I should've chased the guy down for my friend.

Cause I mean, it just bothers me right now to this day. I should've, I should've, I should've done that. And cause I don't, I mean, courage is one of my core values. Being, living with courage, making courageous decisions, encourages emotional courage, physical courage that would have. Taken me confronting this guy in any way.

The emotional courage. One thing I regret is I had the hots for this gal in college, and I sent a rose to pledges broader arose and gave her this rose at this dinner on Valentine's day. And then I called her later and she said she had a boyfriend, but she was open to going out and getting a cup of coffee.

I wish I would have gone and gotten that cup of coffee. I felt some rejection. But I still should've gone and gotten that cup of coffee. I mean, I was playing it safe right there. Don't play it safe. I've done some things this year where, you know, I haven't played a safe, you know, and I've gotten hurt, unfortunately, but I'm glad I did it.

And there are risks with people that have been risks with women. They've been risks with work. They've been risked with friends. But, and they've been emotional risks primarily, and I don't want to play it safe any longer. So how can we increase our level of vulnerability in our life? It's for one, it's a lot scarier to me to think that I'm going to get older and have regrets and say, I wish I would have done that.

I wish I would've done this. I wish I would have started that business. I wish I would've, you know, cashed out my retirement and done it, you know, just did that thing. That could make things really great. That's on our. No, those are the things I'm talking about. What is it that we want to do and can do that.

We want to engage, you know, is it scheduling that doctor's appointment calling that stinking attorney in dealing with the crap professionally that you've been dealing with and printing off or drafting a will or I don't know what it is, but are you, are you playing it safe? Should you be looking for a new job, but you're playing it safe.

Should you invest in crypto? Should you be investing in real estate? I don't know what you should do, but are you willing to stop playing it safe? Should you meet somebody new? Should you market better? Should you start prospecting by knocking on doors? For sales. I don't know. I don't know. I get to see people take emotional, vulnerable risks with their lives.

And in this last year I've seen some amazing things because I do both clinical work and I do my coaching as well. So coaching is about the future. Creating a plan for the future clinical work is working through the. Depression, anxiety, all that stuff been doing that for over 20 years, I'm certified as a coach licensed as a therapist, but some of the stories I want to share with you of emotional courage, people not playing it safe and getting to see the payoff.

Somebody facing a man, a sexual assault as a team and admitting for the first time that he's guarded and shut down emotionally because of that and talking to somebody about it. Having never talked about that in his sixties, never actually shared that with anybody. Now that is correct. And I heard one time facing sexual trauma things trauma in our past, you know, that some of the most courageous stuff we could possibly ever do because we stuff it, seeing a woman face something similar when she was seven and the impact and recognizing the impact it had on her and being willing to face it and deal with it and move forward.

A client going to 90 AA meetings in 90 days and committing, and actually following through that's courage right there. Someone facing a client who he faced the death of his father through suicide. And talked about it and was willing to start this prolonged, this grief process to move through it and no longer live in the anger, but actually experience the sadness and the loss of not having this dad there as a kid and a team.

And those years somebody's reaching out to a parent when they were [00:30:00] neglected by that parent. For the first time, then actually confronting them and seeing a parent say I was wrong. That takes emotional courage to say I was wrong. I was wrong. And repairing these relationships. I don't know what it is. One of the guys who I talked to this morning at Starbucks, his name was Connor.

And I don't know what Connor did for a living. Connor was, younger guy and now he's probably in his twenties. And he said, you know, it helps me to remember that everybody feels the same way at some, at some level, you know, everybody is out there struggling thinking, I ha they're winging. It basically is the term that he used.

And so that's the imposter syndrome. We become more willing to be vulnerable, I think. And I believe when we are willing to realize that everybody's struggling out there, you know, we're not the only one who struggled to play it safe and we want to play it safe. It's natural to want to play it safe, but how are you going to not play it safe this year?

What are you going to do this different? Activity I use with clients and there's a link that I'm going to link to in the show notes, it's called it's the articles called a simple and powerful stress coping tool. So something that you're afraid of you identify, it's a, it's a way you're not going to stay safe.

So it could be that I'm afraid to knock on doors, to get clients for my medical supplemental business for Medicare and. I'm afraid. I haven't done it before. I know I'm going to get some rejection and I got a list of leads and all that, but, you know, and then I'll have them fill out this worksheet.

Which you can, if you hit on that article, there's a link to a fillable PDF. And the PDF is called is, is called, focusing on what I can influence. So I'll have them list. What is it about that thing that they're afraid of that is totally out of their control. So in that case, in prospecting, How someone else treats me.

It's totally out of my control. If somebody is rude to me, if somebody doesn't want to buy the products totally out of my control, but then I have them list. What is in your control? What do you have some influence on? And they'll list things off. Like I can read this inspiring sales book. I can take a sales training.

I can talk to my coworker who has done this and been successful and knocked on doors and has made a business. And they can tell me inspiring stories of people buying, and that can inspire you to actually move and take some. So we stopped playing it safe and we commit. So based on that worksheet, I have them take one actionable.

Committable something, they write down something they're going to actually do. So maybe it is knock on 10 doors, you know, or maybe it is knock on two doors. But then they commit and then hopefully they don't betray themselves, which is that other commitment we gotta make sure we fall through and then they move forward.

So I love this. I watched the movie last night, I just finished it. It was, the darkest hour about Winston Churchill and I it's on one of my. It's on my new all-time favorite list bitches. That happens to me a lot when I watch a new movie. But the quote at the very end of that movie was remember was, was success is not final.

Failure is not fatal. It is the courage to continue that camp. It is the courage to continue that counts. We kinda, you know, I like Winston Churchill, like Abraham Lincoln kinda S kind of figure for me in my life who really had courage in the face of a lot of opposition. And then there has been this commercial that I've been seeing.

It gives me the chills every time I see it. It's with Matt Damon. And so it's about crypto.com and it's about fortune favors, the brave. I don't know if you've seen that commercial, but I really, I really liked that commercial. So you got those three commitments. First one. The three actions. Basically, you got stop avoiding things.

You avoiders out there. Come on. You know, you are keep promises to yourself. Don't betray yourself. Don't sabotage your success. Don't play it safe. As the third commitment, don't play it safe. Make a commitment to not playing it safe this year. What are you going to do differently? How are you going to do, how are you going to do things differently?

So this is a question I ask at the end of every coaching and counseling session for the most part, most of the time, what insight and inspiration did you gain from today? And sometimes they'll give me one thing. Sometimes they'll give me two things, but they always have something. They give me something.

So what insight or inspiration did you gain from today that you're going to apply and commit to applying to your life? We change first of all, three stages of change, three stages of success, awareness, and insight that we got a problem. So we become aware that we're planning. We accept the facts.

Acceptance is a deeper level than awareness. Awareness is simply [00:35:00] acknowledging when we accept and we say, acceptance means like this is a problem. I got to fix it. I accept it. I got to deal with this thing. And then we take some kind of action. So what action are you going to take to. I have one call of action for you.

If you'd like this and you liked my style purchased my product called tuna for life. You're going to get a workbook and you're going to get challenged through worksheets, to deal with healthy thinking skills. How to change your perspective, your true values of learning, to love yourself and things you love about.

You're going to learn about life balance and assessing your life and creating some balance in your life. Living from your core values, identifying a worksheet, identifying your core values and living from them. You're going to decide what your life purpose is, determine what that is, which is going to give you some really good tool for making decisions on your career.

Who do I date? What should I do with my time? And you're going to learn how to set goals the right way and create habits and commit to those habits. So purchase tuna for life. You can also hire me as a coach, hire someone on my team as a coach, always feel free to email me too. If you have some feedback at adamant, decide your legacy.com.

You want to share something encouraging from this podcast. You can always reach out to me as well. Just for feedback. I will respond to the best of my ability. To those personal emails as well. So make a decision, you decide your legacy three ways to kickstart your self-confidence in to that this year.

Right now it's three ways you can do it any time a year, make a decision, you decide your future. Nobody else you decide your legacy. Only you and I'll see you next time you got some great podcasts coming up. See you. Then this show is part of the ICT podcast network. For more information, visit ICT pod.net. .