#37: Stop Sabotaging Your Success

So often, we come incredibly close to having a positive breakthrough in our lives, only to turn around and self-sabotage the good things that are happening. Why do we do that? And what can we do to stop it? We discuss all that today on the podcast!

Adam Gragg: [00:00:00] Welcome to the Decide Your Legacy podcast. Thanks for tuning in. So I am your host, Adam Gragg and if you haven't already done so hit the subscribe button on Apple or Spotify, so you'll never miss another podcast episode. And if you're out there and you've enjoyed this podcast, please give it a review, a rating and review on Apple or Spotify.

That really helps it to grow organically. We don't have any big companies pushing this podcast. I don't have any major sponsors pushing it out there yet, but really need your help to help it grow organically, which it has been growing significantly. Thanks to you. So please give it a rating. Take about 20 seconds.

This is a topic that I've kind of been neglecting addressing for a long period. And it's on self sabotage. It's something that I see and I really wanted to get my thoughts clarified on it to help you. I see consistently at times, working with clients where they're about to make a breakthrough and then they sabotage it, then everything just blows up and it's ruined.

And I wonder why because they're so close and they even know that they're really close as well. And so today I'm going to talk to you about three things you can do to avoid self-sabotage to stop the self-sabotage in your life. As I have done in many previous episodes, a couple of risks that I've taken recently.

Well, one is, and you know, this may not seem like a big risk to you, but when I was young, very young, five and six, I went through some traumatic. Stuff. And recently I have gotten some information that will potentially connect me to somebody who is also five or six and traumatized at the same time. And so it's kind of brought up a lot in me, but I've been making an effort to connect.

And that to me is an emotional risk. I also took a risk by standing up to my parents. I remember not recent, not to thought too long off a comment was made. And I'm not going to say which parent, but. It was a comment that was not appropriate and it wasn't intentional. I think it's just something that they can do at times.

And I stood up and I said, Hey, that makes me feel or not. That makes me, I mean, I feel, you know, put down or one up to when that kind of thing is said. I don't know if you attended. To to come across that way, but this is how I took it. And I'm please don't do that. I mean, I need something different in your community.

Need more encouraging, uplifting communication, and those kinds of things in power me, I mean, they're scary. And like I said before in previous podcasts, you know, the most intimidating things we ever do in life are emotional and relational, their fear of it's fear of rejection and facing potential rejection.

So I'm your host. Adam Gragg, I'm a life coach and mental health professional. I've been doing coaching for over 15 years and I call myself a legacy coach. I help people create legacy plans, plans for their future. I'm also been a mental health professional for, I believe, close to 23, 24 years started in 1999 app actually, and my life purpose, my life purpose, which I help other people identify their life purpose, is helping people find transformational clarity and overcome their biggest fears so they can live and leave their desired legacy. Not the legacy someone else's chosen for them, not the legacy they think they should. Not what they think they should do with their life, but they can live the life that was meant out for them.

And I talk about subjects in a way that I believe you can share the information with your six year old and that child can grasp what we're talking. And understand and resonate with it. You know, for example, last week I talked about building healthy relationships in the last podcast I released and I discussed the importance of flexibility.

I think your six year old can understand that a controlling friend that's inflexible and always wants it their way is not necessarily going to make for the best friendship. I mean, even at six, you're going to recognize that. And you're probably going to go on to other kids that are. Flexible and generous and kind that kind of thing.

I also talked about how you want to monitor and look for lifestyle habits and your friends, and that can identify at times who you should engage and who you should distance yourself from, or have more boundaries with. And so for example, your six year old can understand that if a kid is always playing video games and cussing, and never wants to do anything except watch TV and play video games, that might not be the best relationship to engage and foster and build.

I talk about simple, basic practical stuff. I also talk about things. I struggle with myself, so I struggle with self worth issues. I struggle with anxiety. I struggle with [00:05:00] dealing with family dynamics. I'm a fellow traveler with you. In fact, I listened to my own podcast to remind me of what I should be doing.

Cause I forget all the time, you know, I write it, I know it, I believe in it. Yeah, but you can forget easily if you don't focus on it consistently, what you focus on the most you amplify. And this is such an important topic because your future will be greatly impacted by the quality of the decisions that you make now today.

And if you're heading in the right direction and you're not sabotaging, and you're actually. Engaging and doing those things, you know, you can do to get to the next level and you're pushing through the fear and you're pushing through the anxiety then great things are on the other side.

I mean, great things are beyond on the other side. But like I said, I've seen patterns in people that right when they're near a breakthrough, they sabotage things, right when they're on the cusp of something that's bigger and better, they sabotage it. I've seen it with people relating to. You know, they're in a good, healthy relationship. Now finally, for the first time yet at the very end at the. Right when it could go to the next level, they, they blow it up. You know, they cheat or they lie or they get drunk or they avoid, they do something and it ruins the potential that relationship, it may be, could be repaired, but they're not recognizing that they're sabotaging a good thing.

So here's other ways I see self-sabotage so blame. Can we self-sabotage, I'm never going to take personal ownership. It's always about this other thing, this person, or the past or some other way that I'm a victim self-pity of course, very similar to blaming walking away from things and avoiding and just, you know, throwing in the towel, giving up early.

That can be self-sabotage perfectionism procrastination. Self-sabotage getting stuck in excuses again and again, negativity self-sabotage insecurity can be so sabotage, just living in telling yourself I'm never going to be a confident person and dating and going in to professional interactions without any confidence you can work on that, but that insecurity can really be self-centered.

Picking fights with friends and family and drama consistently. Self-sabotage you know what, I'm going to say. A few other things, putting yourself down, not expressing your wants and needs, spending money, addiction, high expectations, unrealistic expectations of other people. So you're always led down going back to the same old toxic friendships and relationships again and again.

Self-sabotage self-sabotage. When it boils down to it, I will tell you that self-sabotagers struggle with, they struggle with self-worth and they have at a S at a deep level, and I relate to this very deeply myself. They tell themselves they don't deserve good things in life that they're worthless, that good things will never happen for them.

That good things won't happen to me, that it happens to the other guy. And that message goes in place that tape. Plays again and again and again and again. And where does it come from? It generally comes from trauma and messages they've gotten in the past. It can from, and it can form during their adult years.

Cause you can have traumatic situations. It can form through rejection. It can form through patterns for through consistently self-sabotaging honestly. Cause then you just tell yourself the message that it's never going to go well for me. And I told you, and I have told you before that there are three big lies people with.

Three big lies that my clients believe that I hear again and again, one is that I'm worthless. One is that I'm helpless. And one is that I'm unlovable and there's all kinds of variants of those. But self-sabotage generally comes out of this belief that I can't, it's really all three of those combined.

I can't make it work. It's not going to happen for me. I don't deserve to be happy. I don't deserve blessings in my life. So let's jump in on the three things you can do to work on this. If you are a sabotager and you know who you are. And so, and one of them is to simply work on, really focus on and work on your own.

Self-worth put energy into developing a sense of self-worth. And what do I mean, well, a belief in yourself self-confidence seeing the best in yourself. You know, I'm a fun, pretty funny person. I'm also an annoying person, you know, and I will tell myself sometimes I just want to be the best version of Adam, not the best version of anybody else, not the best version of my dad, which at times I think I've tried to be not the best version of other people.

I look up to my bosses, people that I know from church friends have the best version of me, and I'm kind of an annoying, goofy guy. And even this morning, Actually it was yesterday. I took my dog to a meeting and the CEO of this company wanted me to bring the dog inside. And because she likes the dog in any way, I do business with her, with her in the company and my dog was inside and he did roam around a little bit on his own, I guess, because I thought he was in the room with us the whole time, but he went and took a poop in somebody's [00:10:00] office and she sent me a picture this morning saying, Hey, Max left a little present.

And I could have gotten years ago pretty insecure about that. I could have been like, oh my gosh, I can't believe that happened. You know, this is somebody that I really want to like me. This is somebody I have a professional connection with, you know, and, but I laughed about it. I left it really inside a lab.

I offered to pay for it if it was damaged, anything of course, but I laughed about it. It was funny. It was funny to her to actually, and it boils down to loving yourself. At a deep level, loving yourself. Like you would love somebody else or like you believe you would love somebody else. So you're the first and greatest commandment love.

The Lord, your God with all your heart, mind, and soul. And the second is like, it love your neighbor as yourself. I have no way of interpreting that. Except as that being a command that I have to value ourselves at a very high level, and that we're actually commanded to value ourselves at a high level to see our worth.

I ask questions, similar questions to all of my clients. At the very beginning at the very first intake session, when they're inquiring about counseling, or inquiring about coaching and what is, they'll ask them is like, what do you like about yourself? What are some things that you like about yourself and I'll frequently get answers?

Well, I like that, you know, I got this degree from this college, or I like this. I like the fact that I have kids. I like my wife. I like the fact that you know, that I have a certain amount of, that I have of this car. I had these achievements in my life. These things that I've done. 80% of the time, what they're telling me are things that are extrinsic they're things that are external, that will eventually be taken away because they're not these internal intrinsic traits that, you know, are stuff that are God given that you can focus on.

And like I said before, you know, post on your mirror, posts in your car, things about you that you really like. So. One way to work on this, though, is if you're going to work on your self worth, one of the most important things you have to do is you have to get out there and take risks. You have to take emotional risks to get rejected.

And when you do, you will see, you will see through those experiences that you. Have tremendous value and it's kind of strange that people actually have to build self worth by taking risks by being emotionally vulnerable, because that means that you're potentially going to be exposing yourself to more rejection.

This one thing that you're trying to avoid, I mean, when you're telling yourself I'm no good, I don't deserve happiness. I mean, you're trying to avoid that kind of pain, that kind of feeling. So it's counterintuitive to doing something where you step out. In my life. I think at the times when my self-confidence has grown the most, it's what I've actually stood up.

It's when I've stood up. I mean, in college, there was a time where there was a guy that was bullying other kids in the dorms, and I stood up to him and I shocked myself. I mean, I really, I remember even in college, one time there was a guy who was a fraternity brother. He, his parents were going through a divorce and I knew that and he was, he was a good friend, close friend, and I hadn't seen him all summer.

We just started back up at school at university of Oregon. And I remember. That he was struggling and I knew it, you know, it hadn't been something he'd really talked with me about, but I knew that there was something going on and there was an interaction that was really negative. And in fact, the way I remember it is I got spit on and, you know, normally my response to that would be like, you know, you spit on somebody you're going to kick their butt.

I mean, that's a big deal, but I knew kind of the backstory and I shocked myself and it was standing up for myself by actually looking at him and saying, This isn't about me. I don't think I used those words, but I knew it wasn't about me, but looking at them and saying, Hey, I care about you. You know, I, I care even though some bad happened, you know what I mean?

Even though I got spat on, I still was able to have the focus on the fact that there's a bigger picture and it really wasn't about me. It wasn't connected to me. And I haven't done that well in a lot of situations in my life, but that would be an example of standing up for yourself. I also remember a situation where I came back from a track meet with a buddy. And it was probably two in the morning and we got back. He would be getting back from K state. He ran track at K state, my friend, Dave, and we were watching this indoor track meet. We got back late and I pulled into the driveway where I lived and this drunk lady crawled into the back of my car.

And I just responded immediately by dragging her butt out of the car. I mean, I didn't hesitate. I'm like, you are not going to get in the back of my car as said, get out of this car. And I don't even remember the whole exact situation, but I remember thinking that was the right thing to do, because this is a dangerous situation.

I mean, this is not safe and I'm going to go ahead and stand up for myself because this is a violation right here. And you know, when you have these situations where you're violating. You and the audience right now, what I'd encourage you to do is think about people in your life, where you shrink back, where you're not honest, where you don't tell the truth where you're deceptive, and then think about how you can stand up and show some value for yourself by telling the truth.

By being honest, by [00:15:00] not cowering by not cowering. I mean, people can be bullies sometimes people because they are so emotional, they kind of get their way. It's like, don't address that with her, or don't address that with him because their reaction is going to be very emotional. And who wants to deal with that kind of crap?

When in reality, all that is happening is. Because they're bullying you into getting their way, because everybody's afraid of them. Don't be that guy, because all that happens every time you don't stand up and you let somebody walk on you and you let somebody mistreat you is you're devaluing yourself.

You're not loving yourself. You're not being a friend to yourself. You're not being the kind of friend that we're commanded to be loved by neighbors. Check out episode 19 of this podcast, decide your legacy podcast on building your self worth. And in that episode, I do talk about my divorce, which had a big impact on my self-worth.

Also, there's going to be a link to an article called the ultimate self-confidence building activity, which is going to give you access to some information that I use with clients. On building. Self-worth it's a topic I can go over again. And again, if you found this podcast helpful so far, please subscribe to my newsletter, my you newsletter, and it says, decide your legacy.com.

You go down to the bottom and you subscribe, and you're going to get five days to overpowering anxiety. It's an eight page workbook, some of the best stuff that I use myself. And you're gonna get that for free along with other bunch of free goodies, but please subscribe if you find this helpful. So the second thing you can do.

To stop the self-sabotage is you can start visualizing what your life would be like if you were successful. So just recently I had a client she's in her fifties and she's moving. She sort of has to move because her husband got a job in another city. She's moving. She told me, I didn't ask for this information, but she told me that, well, I've read some information that people, my age, you know, they're just not getting hired and it's probably gonna take me 18 months to get a good position, to get a good job.

And I listened to her some more. And it was pretty negative. And she said, and you know, I haven't had to interview for so long and I'm probably not going to get a job because my interviewing skills aren't any good. I'll listen to her some more. And then she said, you know, and plus I've never found a good job that's made me happy. And I just don't think I'm going to be happy in that job because I'm not happy in my own job. And then in a way she's kind of right, because no job is going to really make you happy. That's an external, when everything happiness is really an internal thing, joy is an internal thing.

You can't, there's no external solution. You can find jobs that make it a lot more likely that you're going to be happy. And there are toxic jobs you should run from. And there are jobs that are going to make you a lot more likely to be happy than other ones, but ultimately it's up to you. It's not anything external.

I listened to her. And then I asked the question. I said, you know, what's the payoff or the benefit of you actually thinking this way. People hate that question. I ask it all the time because I want them to start thinking, but they pause, which whenever somebody, whatever, a client pauses, I know I've asked a decent question because it's getting them to think.

Whenever I ask my daughter a question and she pauses, it really gets her to think. And I want her to think. So one of my main goals as a dad has her to think. And her answer was something like, well, I think it motivates me, you know, cause I'm working on my resume and I think, and I challenged her because she hadn't really applied for a lot of jobs or reached out.

And then eventually we got to the point where she could see how it was protecting her. Yeah. It was probably motivating her a little bit, but probably de-motivating more, her more, it was motivating or maybe to get a resume done. Okay. Fine. But it was de-motivating her from actually stepping out into those situations where she could be rejected.

Recognizing the benefit of why we're thinking this way is extremely helpful, because then we can look at it and say, well, it's really not productive. I mean, it's not actually keeping me safe and it's not actually motivating me. I'm just thinking this way, because. Wow. You know, because it's very natural for me to think that I don't deserve good things.

And it's very natural to think that those relationship or that relationship is going to go bad. It's just the way I've protected myself. And once you can recognize that the game's over once, you can recognize that it's not you, the game is over. I'm telling you that. Externalizing your thoughts, it's externalizing your fears, and then you can start working on them.

You start to have some control and some power over them. And of course, how do you do that? Well, you can do it through meditation because meditation is a great way and mindfulness activities. They're just excellent ways for you to see how active your mind is and how full of crap it is and how 95% of what you're thinking is based on the past and fear and self protection.

Facts and you can start challenging it. You can start getting some differentiation from it, which differentiation means we're starting to see that we're different from our thoughts and our feelings and our emotions that we're, I mean, that's my definition. Murray Bowen's definition was a little different and it comes from Murray Bowen who was a famous psychiatrist.

Who's kind of one of the founding fathers of family therapy, which I'm a family therapist by profession and training. [00:20:00] Anyway, differentiation, there's some good evidence that the more differentiated a person is, the more they're gonna have. Other differentiated people, they're going to marry somebody that's more differentiated.

They're going to find healthier people to interact with. You want to find this level of differentiation and visualizing success is one way that you can do that because you're taking a situation that you think is actually dreadful and not going to go well. And you're starting just to dream a little bit and say, well, what if you know, people love the questions that I ask that are like, you know what I do if I had a million dollar.

I mean, they love it because it's fun to dream. And it's actually a really healthy question. You know, it's as healthy of a question is, you know, what's the pay off and thinking negatively it's as healthy. It gets them to think, but it's in a positive way, you know, where would I like to be in three years?

What would my ideal job be? Not perfect job. Ideal job situation. Be. And start dreaming and start writing that down. Start journal, start journaling. I mean, it's more clear on paper than it is in your head. So you write it down somewhere that you can reference, put it somewhere. If it's not on your computer.

It's in handwriting, handwritten form, a big fan of handwriting. Actually I have not the best handwriting because I've typed too much over the last. 10 years, but I used to have pretty decent handwriting, but find a way to visualize what it could be in each area of your life. You know, how could your visualize health visualize financial health, visualize physical health, relational health, fun, get an idea of what it would be and what would you be doing with your time and take the time to step back, which as I shared before, the very few people take the time to step back and actually self reflect.

And that's my challenge to people listening. It's by challenged all my clients is find ways to step back and self-reflect. And then the third thing you can do to stop the self sabotage. And, you know, of all three, you know, working on your self worth, you know, you're gonna recognize you have value. So why would I sabotage myself? Because I have tremendous value and there's no reason why I need to, I can do this. I can have success. Good things can be in. For me, you know, visualizing success gives you this picture of what it could be like, which can help you to start. It's like forecasting revenue, you know, it's like you're going to project what it could be realistically.

And to get that picture and helps you to move towards something. But this one I would say, would be the most important and I saved it for last. And it's working on, it's working really on your emotional and mental health. It's it's this. And I, again, I talk about this stuff a lot, but I'll give you an illustration.

I had a friend recently who was super frustrated with his wife because his wife is making from what he decided when he deems is bad decisions. So not engaging in the marriage, doing things that are selfish, engaging, unhealthy relationships, you know, being lazy, sleeping in all these things. And I'm assuming most of it's true.

I trust my friend. I don't think he's lying. And I also think that he's handling it in a way that's probably exacerbating the problem. So we've talked and emotionally healthy. People are able to say, this is what I'm feeling. You know, I'm feeling really angry right now at my wife. And I'm very tempted to just get consumed by this anger and to ruminate and to think about it and even make a list in my head of all the ways I've been wronged yet they're able to.

Step back from it and respond in an intentional way. And often it's going to be an opposite way to that emotion. So it's going to be opposite of that anger. And we even call this in dialectical behavioral behavioral therapy, which is something where you can be. It's a lot of group therapy. It's a very interesting.

Researched evidence-based form of therapy called opposite to emotion action. And so you identify that emotion that is so strong in you, and oftentimes it's a secondary emotion, not a primary emotion, like somebody is angry and usually behind anger is hurt. And potentially betrayal or injustice or fear fears behind so much anger.

It's so much easier to just be angry and frustrated and pushed everyone away than to admit that you have fears, but you take the opposite action to that anger. And what would the opposite action of that anger be? I mean, anger pushes people away. The opposite action would be to engage in some fashion.

And so it could be to engage and share that I'm scared. But I'm scared. I don't want to lose you or that I care that I'm wrong and they have no, there's no excuse for my behavior. It's setting engagement that will change things. And sometimes I'll challenge clients just for the nights, you know? So just for the next.

Practice this opposite to emotion engagement. I mean, I challenged a lady recently that's a client and it gets frustrated when she comes home because their kids will often leave a mess and she'll come home and feels like she has to have the same conversation with them again and again about cleaning their room and about getting their homework done and about not leaving this in the family room.

And I just challenged her. I said, okay, your frustration. What's the opposite to that emotion. [00:25:00] What could you do? And then she had her answer was why could engage and I could ask them how their day was. And I could, rather than pointing out all these things that are wrong, that are going wrong. I could actually point out all these things that are going right in their lives.

Like one of them gets really good grades and one of them is really doing well on the cross country team. And I could point those things out and start focusing on those things. And then. Start to build what's called positive sentiment override. So you're starting to build these positive interactions into the relationship.

And so they're going to hear your criticism more because there's that positive engagement already in the relationship. Actions you can take to actually work on this. So one is just every day. Write down a positive and a negative emotion that you felt recently. And I'm going to link in this podcast to a two it to an article on emotional health that you can reference that talks about this, but writing down why you feel that negative emotion what's going on and what am I learning from it?

And then what is an opposite? What's an opposite emotion to that negative emotion. And then you can also write down your positives. Cause sometimes I'll have people list all the emotions they feel for a whole day and to rate how frequently they feel them. And then show me that in the email, back to me and what I'll see sometimes is it.

80% negative, you know, because they've trained themselves to interact and engage in a negative way again and again and again, but you can, you can really work on that. You can journal because that's giving you some space and I'm going to link to some articles on successful journaling. But I say that. The emotional health piece is the most important, because it's going to give you the ability to say this feeling is not fact, this desire to run from this situation that is positive in my life, or this person that's positive in my life or this new habit, or this habit that I've stopped, like say someone stops gambling and they have had a gambling issue for years and they decided to go to some 12 step gambler anonymous meetings and they are starting to pay off some debts and they're starting to make progress in their marriage. Right. When it's about to get to that point where it's success and their marriage can start thriving, they go and do something else. It might not be gambling, but they go and they have an affair or they go and they get a credit card and spend a whole bunch of money without their spouse knowing.

And it's sabotage. It's like you were so close to intimacy, which I think is such a big fear. Like I said before, the biggest fears that we have are emotional fears. So intimacy, and I mean plutonic intimacy, connection with somebody else. We can start getting closer to somebody and have this real connection.

And then we start recognizing I have such a desire to sabotage this thing, but why? Because I've never experienced relationships that have been healthy before. Ah, that's a healthy thought. That's a differentiated thought because I've never experienced somebody like him before. And he's healthy and it's almost like just scares the hell out of me because, and I'm just going to sabotage this thing, man.

I'm going to actually find things to criticize about him. I'm going to find things that he's doing wrong. I'm going to find things to, you know, push him away. That's also sabotage, but the moment you have the, when you have the emotional health and wherewithal to say. This feeling is not fact you don't have to respond to it, then it doesn't control you then, because all you're doing before is going through life subconsciously, you're not actually making decisions, you're just reacting.

And then instead, now you're getting emotionally healthy and you're seeing that, okay. Other people's opinions and points of view actually can be accurate and healthy. And it's okay for me to listen to them. And they may even have something to offer me and my reaction them. May have been based on my past and not what they actually said.

You know, I had somebody today that reacted to me in a negative way based on something that I didn't at least I don't believe I conveyed or said, I simply made a statement and it was in as me being selfish. When I don't feel like I was being selfish. I feel like I was actually being honest about how I felt, but it was interpreted negatively, but that can happen.

And we worked it through in everything because intimacy is, well, what you have to know too, is that all intimacy. Corporate, which means we're functioning on a healthy level where all everything's connected, we're making in reaching our goals, relational intimacy as well. It happens when you work through conflict.

When you work and you stick with it and you get to the other side and on the other side is growth. You actually stick with that conflict and you don't get sucked into the self-sabotage. Cause right when you're about to get to that intimacy in that breakthrough, that's when the temptation can be the strongest.

It's like right when you're about to go to that next level, I mean, there's a kind of famous cliche saying like the devil doesn't mess with people that are doing bad. I mean, the devil messes with people and cares about those that are actually trying to live life right. I mean, that's kind of cliche, but I believe it.

I mean more, you try to align your life with things that are good and pure and true and honest, the harder it is because a lot of times that's when the spiritual battles come. I mean, because you're heading in the right direction and it's not a time to give up. It's a time to keep pushing for. You can work on this stuff.

So if you love this podcast, if it was helpful, if you [00:30:00] resonated with this, self-sabotage, if it really sticks and you see how you're doing this, you know, share it on your Instagram stories or share it on your Facebook page and tag me, that's how it grows organically. Again, I don't have any major sponsors giving me cash map to market.

This thing it's growing significantly. And it's growing because of you. Telling your friends and giving it reviews in the end. It's not the years in your life. That count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln love that. Quote, love that quote from Churchill as well. That I've mentioned before. A success is not final.

People get caught up in success. Don't get so caught up in success. Man. Success is not final. Failure is not fatal. It's the courage. It's the courage, which is one of my core values is the courage to continue. That counts. That is what counts. And that is the most. That is one of the most respected qualities in peoples when they push through.

So what is your gain from today? It was one thing that you gained that you want to apply. I really encourage you to write that down and to do something soon with that. The emotional health part. Was it taking risks? Was it the part when I discussed the very beginning about standing up for yourself or working on your self worth, you know, by standing up for yourself, what was that one thing that you want to remember from this podcast and how can you apply?

I want to just highlight one thing about success, cause I've kind of lied to you guys over the last,36 podcasts. And, here's something that I said continually change is 40% about clarifying and having a healthy perspective and 60% action. But I will tell you that just over the last week I have thought, you know, that's an accurate, because.

If you're really going to change. It's it's 25% awareness and 75% action. Action is I would suggest that much more significantly important in long long-term change. You just have to go out and do those things that you're scared of and face them. So if you're going to change today, you got some awareness and then you're accepting it.

And you're saying, yeah, that is a problem. And now you've got to go and apply it and take some kind of action based on what you learned today. If you're interested, I'd love to do some coaching with you. Some group coaching coaching with my team. I can't always meet with everybody, but if you're interested in coaching, letting this stuff sink in deeper love for you to actually reach out.

I have a course called tune-up for life that I'm actually revamping and I'm still. I'm going to grandfather, everyone in that course into the legacy journey, which is my flagship course that I'm working on. In fact, after this podcast, I'm going to spend a couple hours working on that and not procrastinating, which I can actually do.

So how do you want to be remembered 10 years after you're gone? When people are talking about you at Christmas, what do you want there? What do you want them to say? You have some influence over that right now, by how. Now live that life. Now make a decision, apply something you learned today. You decide your legacy.

No one else. I appreciate you. Thanks for tuning in and I'll see you next time.

©2020 All Rights Reserved - Decide Your Legacy